Culture Shock

Guilt vs. Shame

2012-01-24T08:29:00.000-05:00

Taken in Ljubljana, Slovenia (Photo by: Jeremy Bohall)

If you had to choose, would you say you're motivated more by guilt or shame? Whatever your answer is, there's a good chance that aspect of your character is shaped more by the culture you live in than anything else.

Having been raised in a guilt-based culture, if something was illegal, I didn't do it. I didn't burn cds. I didn't have a sip of alcohol before I was 21. I didn't even click the little box saying I had read the agreement unless I had actually read the agreement word for word. I was an extreme rule follower in a guilt-based culture.

Now I live in a shame-based culture. Most people in Croatia (and probably most of Eastern Europe) don't think twice before they burn a CD, photocopy an entire book, or get Microsoft Office for free online. I know that there are some in America who do the same. But in America you approach these offenses by appealing to guilt.

Here? "Baš me briga!" (Loosely - "I could care less!") Guilt is not nearly the negative motivational factor that shame is. Like we talked about recently, it's shameful to not be a good host. It is shameful to let your child be homeless. It is shameful to convert to a religion that is not traditional to your culture. Therefore, in Croatia, good hosts are in most homes, homelessness is nearly non-existent and to be Croat means to be Roman Catholic.

But, as I've noticed, it is not shameful to cheat in school. Plain and simple. You're not really supposed to do it. Yet, in my experience teaching in both college and high school contexts, it happens all the time - and blatantly. In order to eliminate cheating, it will have to become a shameful offense. That's going to take some time. In fact, if I were to guess, shame and tradition go hand in hand.

It gets even more serious (for an American). Lets say for example you're talking to a group of high-schoolers as my wife was when she taught an English class recently. Let's say that the discussion turns to adoption. My wife (a Croat, who lived in America half her life) was stunned to find out that 90% of the students in her class felt it better to abort an unwanted baby than give it up for adoption. Why? It's shameful to not want your baby here. The guilt of abortion wasn't nearly as great as the shame of another family (and your child) knowing that the biological parents wanted to give the child away.

Paul Hiebert describes someone in a shame-based culture this way: "One maintains self-respect, not by choosing what is good rather than what is evil, but by choosing what is expected of one."

Guilt is more personal. Therefore, it makes sense that an individualistic culture like America is guilt-based in contrast to Eastern Europe and its focus on the community. There are a lot of implications. My guess is that this is the underlying reason why the divorce rate is considerably higher in America than in Eastern Europe. It's also probably why you don't see individuals go on shooting sprees in public schools and malls in this part of the world.

A friend of mine mentioned this distinction to me after he heard the a sermon by Timothy Keller. Guilt vs. shame is talked about around 26:00. Here's another article on the matter.

This whole concept would not have made as much sense to me if I hadn't realized that my move into a new culture had changed how guilt and shame affect me. Honestly, I feel more shame when my car is dirty than I used to. (I used to feel guilty that I cared how my car looked.)

Has the move gone in the other direction too? Have I stopped reading the agreement before putting the check in the box?

Guilty as charged.

Dear Ian,

2012-01-13T03:05:00.000-05:00

Two.

It's the only number you know how to say. And you use it to count everything. "Two, two, two...two." Today is your second birthday. Last year saw your hair grow curly. You took your first steps. You learned to eat by yourself. You began following your brother wherever he goes. You learned how to put puzzles together.

You also continued smiling. Never lose that smile, Ian. It makes everyone else smile too...too...too.

Ian Rahim - "God is gracious and compassionate." You are a gift to us.

Happy Birthday Ian. Volimo te do neba visoko!

(Photo by: Jeremy Bohall)

The Glass is _________________.

2012-01-10T13:13:00.001-05:00

(Photo by: Jeremy Bohall)

"It's a given that culture powerfully influences thoughts, emotions and behaviors...We see things through a cultural lens that tints, magnifies, shrinks and otherwise shapes our perceptions."

- Dean Barnlund from Communication in a Global Village

Arranging these glasses randomly on our guest's place-settings has created a few colorful conversations since Petra bought them a few years ago.

Is it possible to generalize the mindset of a particular culture? If so, what glass would you put next to an American plate? A Croatian?

A pat on the back for the person with the most creative seventh glass.

Would you, could you, with a cow?

2012-01-07T03:19:00.000-05:00

For some reason, my boys take greater delight in eating their fruit when they each have a cow watching them.

It Happened One Night

2012-01-04T14:53:00.000-05:00

Disclaimers:

There is a picture in this post that may be shocking.
A name has been changed.

A few days ago, over lunch:
Petra: Jeremy, today Velimir Mrkić is going to come around 5:00 with some pork. He's donating it to the youth for the New Year's party.

Jeremy: Ok, what do I need to do?
Petra: I don't know. He just said he wanted to bring the meat here before he taking it to the church.
Jeremy: Ok.

5:00:
No Gospodin Mrkić

6:00:
No Gospodin Mrkić

6:30:
Petra attempts calling Mr. Mrkić - no answer

7:30:
We have a Skype call scheduled with my relatives in America

7:45, in the middle of our Skype call:
Mr. Mrkić is at the door with a bloody baby pig. And a friend.

After ending our conversation, running to get my keys, the keys to the church and preparing to get the car started,Velimir tells me that I can ride with him. And he has the keys to the church.

The question of what my job was continued to run through my head.

After opening the church, Velimir takes the pig to the freezer and dumps it in next to the ice-cream.

Velimir's friend (to me): All you have to do tomorrow is salt the pig.

Me: Ummm, I'm sorry, I have no idea how to salt a pig.

Velimir: Ok, I'll do it then.

Me: Ok.

.

Let Us Adore Him!

2011-12-23T03:14:00.000-05:00

"Faith is simply following, following its object. Faith is going a way which is marked out and prepared."
- Karl Barth

If faith can be defined this way, isn't faith exactly what the magi and shepherds were demonstrating when they traveled to see the baby?

The star and the desire to worship the newborn king of the Jews were the only motivating factors for the wise men. The throng of angels and their heavenly song prompted the shepherds.

In other words, these two groups of people were not drawn to Jesus because of their faith. They exercised faith because they were drawn to Jesus. Their worship of Jesus was completely outside the realm of tradition or religion. They knew nothing of the reason for the season, or the Christ of Christmas.

The only appropriate response was to go and see what it was that had been announced. The way had been prepared. But that's all they knew. They were filled with awe, wonder and probably confusion. There was no sense whatsoever that they knew what was going on.

Yet they went to worship and adore him.

What a refreshing thought among all the expectations the holiday season brings.

May our worship of the Lord be unhindered this year. Merry Christmas!

Value in Croatia

2011-12-14T04:40:00.002-05:00

"Just let them do it..." our host whispered to her husband, "...it's what they do in America".

My wife and I had been living in our pastor's home for close to a year. They cooked for us. They paid the electric and water bills. They insisted on buying the groceries. All because we were volunteering in the church they had served in for the last 30 years.

The tradition in small town Croatia is to cook a big meal on Sundays. We're talking soup, then freshly cooked beef, pork, chicken (or all three), potatoes, freshly picked vegetables, and a homemade cake with cappuccino, coffee or tea to round things off. They don't let you stop eating either. Here your "no" doesn't mean no until you've said it at least 10 times.

So I thought it might be nice to take the burden off our hosts one Sunday and invite them out for čevapi at the only restaurant I knew of in town. After all, in America taking someone out for dinner is a nice way to show appreciation.

But after we walked out the door the pastor asked his wife "why are we doing this?" to which the aforementioned response came.

In Croatia, people kill a pig for you. They pick their own vegetables from the garden they till all year round and serve them every Sunday for lunch. They'll grow chickens in their shed out back for the May 1st barbecue. They'll collect elderberry on Saturday, cook it in the evening and serve it as juice the next day. They make jams, collect mushrooms, grow pumpkins, and find chestnuts to roast on an open fire.

And I just take them out for dinner to say thanks.

Value in Croatia is measured more by quality of effort than quantity of material goods. And you don't go to a store or a restaurant to find value here. You go to someone's house. The way one hosts shapes their identity. That's why people spend day and night in their gardens, kitchens and orchards.

When we began walking to the restaurant together, our hosts were trying to understand the value of our actions. It wasn't that they weren't grateful, or that my intentions were corrupt. It was that in their understanding, a home cooked feast trumps a pre-made meal from a stranger - no matter who's paying.

After living here for a few years, I've learned that in this context, they're absolutely right.

The Cross in Osijek

2011-12-10T15:30:00.000-05:00

In June 2003, during my first visit to Croatia, Pope John Paul II came to Osijek. The only thing I remember about that day was that the whole city shut down. There was not a car on the street, not a business working. Osijek was a ghost town. Most had gone to the airport landing field - the only place in the city that could hold the throng of people (220,000 in a city of fewer than 100,000) who came to see Papa. The city put up a large cross for the event.
_______________________________________________________________________

The other day, I took my car to Osijek to be serviced. The Kia station happens to be very close to the cross. As I was walking to a cafe I stared at the symbol, amazed by the simplicity of the structure juxtaposed by the immense meaning it carries. I looked forward to spending more time in contemplation when I returned.

When it was time to pick up my car I started back along the same path I had walked just a few hours ago. But the cross wasn't where I thought it was. In fact, despite its size, I couldn't find any sign of it. How could something so big be so hard to find - especially when I knew exactly where it was? Was it possible they took it down in the small time I was gone?

As I continued walking, smaller, obviously fake crosses started tricking me. I knew they weren't the real thing, but the very fact that I was so keenly aware of looking for the cross forced me to recognize - and then dismiss - every small streetlight. It was a confusing and frustrating experience.

Finally I found it. When I did, I realized it stood in a different location than I previously thought. Even though I had concentrated on it so thoroughly earlier, I had not taken its context into consideration. My confidence even made me wonder if someone else had done something with it.

As it should, the cross revealed something. When I reflected on my experience, I realized I have the tendency to solidify my idea of God. Sometimes my understanding of God turns into a god. God becomes so concrete in my mind that I don't allow the Lord's mysteriousness to captivate me. I often predict what God will do, rather than praying for the Father's will to be done. Thankfully, the Lord is not limited to my insufficient understanding.

Raymond E. Brown has something to say about this:

It remains a paradox that we worship a God whose thoughts are not our thoughts, and yet we tend to be so sure about what He would think fitting. Every clearly discernible action of his has been a surprise; how can we be so sure what He must do?

"Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!" Romans 11:33-34 (ESV)

Sign Language

2011-12-06T04:13:00.001-05:00

These two signs just popped up in Orahovica. What do they mean? What's their relationship to each other?

Imitators

2011-11-22T15:43:00.010-05:00

I just realized another reason why Paul calls us Christ's beloved children in the same verse he calls us to imitate Christ.

Today I was working with Ian to clean up his magnet letters. He was having some trouble concentrating on finishing the job...until I helped him. Then, the faster I worked, the faster he worked. Before I began, I was concerned that my help would cause him to just stand by and watch while I finished the job. But, knowing that we wouldn't do anything else until the task was completed, he imitated my pattern and did the same.

There aren't many teachers that prompt us to do anything like children. But Paul had seen the natural tendency children have to imitate and knew that there was no better relationship to call Christ's followers to than that of a child.

Isn't it amazing that in the act of imitating Christ we work together to further His kingdom?

A Friend Who Sticks Closer

2011-11-22T08:18:00.004-05:00

Enoh has been "doing school" with his Mommy lately. In the Croatian activity book we have for him, there are several pages that encourage the young student to place stickers in their appropriate environments.

Petra has shown Enoh where some of the stickers could be placed strategically in order to make the picture look complete, but she found that he had the habit of putting all the stickers on one section of the page.

When she asked him why he didn't spread them out he said...

..."because mommy - they're friends!"

Seeking Understanding

2011-11-15T07:27:00.003-05:00

I recently finished an author whose grasp I cannot escape. German theologian Ernst Käsemann explores the Gospel of John in The Testament of Jesus and claims some surprising results - the boldest of which I disagree with strongly. Yet, Käsemann has deepened my understanding of Jesus.

Here are some quotes from Käsemann's book I found especially meaningful:

On Theology:
"Faith does not limit itself to theology and theology cannot guarantee faith, much less be a substitute for it. Without theology, however, faith cannot be kept alive and proclamation cannot rightly be made."

On Unity:
"Christian unity exists concretely only so long as it remains a task to be fulfilled."
"Christian unity must not merely be demanded, but also be rightly understood, rightly substantiated and taught."

On Love:
"Love in John means something other than an emotion and it transcends even the sphere of ethical decisions. Love does not merely respect the rights or the needs of the other person in personal conduct. Love speaks to the other person and thus communicates itself, or else it preserves what is heard and so accepts the self-disclosure of the other person also through its own deeds of love."

On Faith:
"Faith means one thing only; to know who Jesus is. This knowing is not merely theoretical, for it verifies itself only in remaining with Jesus."

Before and After

2011-11-12T13:54:00.002-05:00

Never underestimate the importance of a good meal.

Raising Bi-lingual Children

2011-11-02T05:43:00.003-04:00

Teaching our kids two languages felt more like an experiment than anything else at the beginning. We decided, when Enoh was in the womb, that Petra would speak Croatian to our children while I spoke English. Enoh was confused for awhile - and he began speaking much later than many toddlers. There were times when I thought maybe we were being cruel to the little guy. But my wife deserves credit for convincing me to stick with it.

It's paying off. Enoh seems to already understand who to speak to in English and who to speak to in Croatian without really thinking about it. Of course, he doesn't know either language well yet. But he gets by in both. I've been surprised at how quickly he has learned.

Here's a glimpse at what a bi-lingual conversation looks like at 1-and-a-half years old (Ian) and 3 years old (Enoh):

The Top 10 Reasons I like October Light's "Croatia" Video

2011-10-27T08:49:00.011-04:00

Quality Croatian music videos as creative as this one (scroll down to see the video) are very rare. Here are 10 reasons why this one is worth blogging about:

10. It promotes Croatia. I'll be honest, it's hard to find 6 guys so fist-pumpingly excited to live in this country.

9. It does so without showing a glimpse of the coast. Don't get me wrong, the Croatian coast is amazing, but sometimes people don't realize there's a lot more to this country than the Adriatic.

8. It's a catchy song.

7. Trombone - a rare instrument in this country.

By the way, I was playing at a funeral one time (no, not that one) and after looking at my trombone one of the participants asked: "Jel' to srpski truba?" "Is that a Serbian trumpet?" (Apparently anything that's foreign must be from Serbia.)

6. It makes my boys dance. And I mean dance.

5. The blue truck. Blue trucks are the stereotypical Roma vehicle in Croatia. Maybe I'm reading into it, but I see a hint of trying to break that prejudice.

4. Croatian+English. The other night they featured a Croatian linguist on the news who was discussing how English words are slowly being incorporated in the Croatian language. October Light illustrates this point at several points during the song.

3. Cornfields. I grew up in Iowa.

2. No traffic. I could play trombone on a truck too if there weren't so many obstacles on the road. How the band managed to keep the roads clear is beyond me.

1. Because I can call it Croative.

Watch:

An Open Letter

2011-10-24T09:49:00.005-04:00

Dear Friends,

After taking Emily and Petra to a local office to apply for our daughter's citizenship, I am not surprised that Steve Job's life was less celebrated here in Croatia than it was in America.

Believe it or not, this picture was taken in October of 2011.

It's not that the internet, personal computers, electronic handheld devices, or various other communication systems are not utilized in Croatia. By no means! It's just that they are not used in the places where they could arguably be the most useful. This worker was very friendly. And if he was confused, it stemmed more from our daughter being born into a unique (for small-town Croatia) dual citizenship marriage.

Yes, typewriters are still used all over Croatia. I find this strange in a land that is becoming more and more like Western-Europe everyday. My inclination is to hang this cultural difference in the closet that already holds most of the shocking things I've encountered, yet I have a feeling that "tradition" is not what gives the typewriter such a long shelf-life.

So I'll appeal to my Croatian audience. Why in the world of iPads and blogs are we still using typewriters?

I'll be waiting by the mailbox.

Sincerely,

Jeremy

Meet Our Daughter Emily Vjera

2011-10-18T08:47:00.006-04:00

As we were waiting for our third child to arrive, my wife and I took a trip down memory lane. The vehicle was this blog. As we were finishing, I heard something I never thought I'd hear: "Honey, I'm so glad you started this blog."

The culture shock never ends.

It's with that in mind that I continue to blog despite more craziness in our house than ever before. This post will take a look at the birth of one third of that craziness.

Fortunately Petra didn't have 59 hours of contractions like she did with Enoh, nor were the last few hours of labor as difficult as they were with Ian. The speed with which our third arrived is a remarkable thing indeed. Here are the details of the last half hour before our beautiful daughter was born. Petra's contractions began around 8 pm on the 20th, then got closer and closer until the morning of the 21st:

6:07 am: Petra opens the front door to begin our short trip. Despite being in the middle of a contraction, she feels it important to write a quick text message to her close friends: "on our way to the hospital" it says.

6:15: We arrive at hospital. Had we been 15 minutes earlier, there's a good chance we would have found parking in the regular parking lot. In the middle of another contraction, I feel justified parking in a handicapped spot. Would we get a ticket?

6:16: Petra still attempting to get out of the car. I'm helping...and thinking about whether I should quickly go around the car to get my camera. Better sense kicks in. Random lady asks if we need any help. Unsure of how to respond, I eventually get a "ne hvala" (no thanks) out.

6:18: Finally inside. Nurse at the reception desk is slouched like an 8th grade biology student at the end of a school day. The pregnant woman doesn't cause the nurse's expression to change. Slowly she gets up and tells us where to go.

6:19: While my wife explains to the nurse that this is her third baby, her water breaks. Nurse changes expressions faster than you can say "social healthcare". "Idi po kolica!" she tells me. What I understood was "Go get a wheelchair!" so I'm off. There's no wheelchair to be found, but there is an old bed with wheels. This'll have to suffice I say to myself. "Is this what you meant?" I attempt in Croatian as I crash through the doors with the movable bed. "Yes!" she responds and indicates that I'm moving too slowly.

6:20: We ascend a couple floors in the elevator, Petra asking if she's allowed to push. She's not.

6:22: I part ways with my wife. "Men aren't allowed in here", the nurse explains. She must not have been here the last two times I joined my wife in the delivery room. In her defense, many Croatian men don't care to be present for the birth of their children.

6:25: The confusion has been resolved. I come in just in time to see the baby born. Petra has given birth to a beautiful girl we have named Emily Vjera. Random lady in parking lot turns out to be the doctor that delivers the baby. "Emily could've been born in the parking lot" she says. I'm thankful she wasn't.
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Emily means “to persevere”. Vjera means "faith" (in Croatian). Of course Petra and I like the sound of the names together but we also like the combination of the two meanings.

In college, as our friendship was growing, we decided to memorize a passage of Scripture together – Hebrews 12. In that section the author of Hebrews is calling us to faith and endurance.

In Hebrews 11, a quite extensive list has been made of many heroes who have lived by faith. Then, with these characters in mind, we are called to "run with perseverance, the race marked out before us". Faith and endurance are so closely connected throughout Hebrews. Our prayer for our daughter among other things, is that she would persevere in faith.

My mother was the first to point out the fact that with E, I, E...we may be running old McDonald's farm here. With certainly no predictions about filling in the rest of the vowels in Mr. McDonald's song, sometimes having 3 children under 3 does feel like a farm.

But I wouldn't have it any other way.

The Pool

2011-09-19T10:49:00.000-04:00

His expression changed completely when I told him about the pool. The toys, friends and comfort of the house which had satisfied him just seconds ago were quickly forgotten when prompted to search for a container of liquid refreshment.

As we began, he led himself - despite the fact that the path was new. The first obstacle was a steep incline. It proved difficult, but his anticipation pulled him up and the stronger hand behind him pushed when he needed it.

There was no time to look behind him once he accomplished the climb, though he was proud. “I did it daddy!” he said with his eyes fully focused ahead and his legs renewed with a simpler plane to walk on.

He did not seem surprised that he didn’t need a leader, despite the fact he had never walked the path before. His feet automatically followed the shape of the way and though there were rough spots and rocks his forward gaze smoothed over the effect they had on his stride. He walked confidently.

“What’s that?” A new sound was the first interruption of our expedition. It even caused him to stop.

“It’s the cars driving on the road ahead of us.” I responded.

“But I can’t see the cars.”

“Can you hear them?” I asked.

“Yes”, he said with resolution and began walking again.

“Soon enough you will see them. After you see them, you will see ours. Then we will get in the car and drive to the place where they sell the pool.”

“Pool?” he said excitedly, “I see the cars!”

We drove without any talk of the prize. Though it had been used as a legitimate motivation for leaving the house without complaining, the fact that I had no idea what kind of pool we would find led me to believe it would be better not to bring it up. And there was no need to.

“Water!” he exclaimed as we descended on a scene of aqua clear sea. The palm trees in the foreground were like fat exclamation marks punctuating the mood change that came with the new view.

“I wanna see more!”

“Would you like to take a walk next to the water?” I asked, happy that the subject of the pool had been forgotten.

“Yes!”

I was convinced there would be plenty of pools at the store as soon as I saw the number of people along the water. Beachgoers of all ages drank in everything that accompanies a hot day by the Adriatic. We took a way that would lead us to the store.

The children splashing in the water made it hard for my son to remember that he didn’t have any swimwear. We hadn’t come prepared to indulge in the temptation that was all around us. The need for keys and a wallet had convinced me of the benefit of changing out of my trunks before we left.

A tinge of irony set in as our view changed from that of the sparkling sea to a row of stores. My son’s tone changed too. Whining began. He liked the thought of cooling off now. He had witnessed the fulfillment others found and he couldn’t stand to leave. Maybe he found something in common with the Adriatic – the fact that the rocks lining the sea could no more hold back the waves than his three year old body could contain his energy.

As his cries filled the air, my reminders of the pool no longer satisfied him. It had become just a symbol now – an inadequate symbol at that.

He had seen the real thing. There was no going back.

Line Dance

2011-09-08T04:10:00.006-04:00

This is one of those obvious ones. The sort of thing that would lead one to start a Culture Shock weblog in the first place. I'm surprised it's taken me this long to bring it up.

Lines in Croatia are like government; you know they were designed to make life more orderly for the average citizen, but when all is said and done you often feel like you've been put through the wringer.

To begin with, you rarely hear the phrase "excuse me" here in Croatia. The Croatian phrasebook I learned from inexplicably left out all forms of "excuse me" . If an American wants to learn the correct way to say "excuse me" in Croatian they won't find it in the introduction, the "practical" section, or the dictionary. In this case, the omission will teach you step 1 of how to pass someone who is in your way:

Don't say anything at all.

Just move the limb that's obstructing your path. Or simply squeeze around them. If worse comes to worse, move the entire person. If a body isn't in your way, then more power to you - the spot is yours.

The other day, my wife came storming back to our car and told me how an older guy simply tried to step in front of her while she was waiting in line. She sort of manipulated her body to keep him from passing (a pregnant belly helps) but that didn't do any good. As he blatantly passed her, she put her arm on his chest and held him back.

Her experience, though a bit extreme, is not out of the ordinary. There is a very important protocal to follow if you're in line in this country.

1. Stand as close to the person in front of you as you possibly can. Remember, there's really no such thing as personal space here, so your spot will only be safe if your body is pressed up against the person in front of you.

2. Don't focus on anything but the prize. Reading a book, playing with your cell or simply daydreaming will give the person behind you the impression that you don't really care about your place in line. This sort of lacksidasical effort will get you eliminated immediately - unless you're as good as my wife is at recovering.

3. Finish strong. Just because you're next, and the teller is waiting for you doesn't mean you're done. Line thieves are keen on the transition periods. You have to start talking to the teller before the previous person leaves their spot. Giving your predecessor a little nudge when you think they're done is a great way to show them it's your turn. Don't give up until you've accomplished your mission.

You think I'm joking. Before posting this, I decided to wait. I needed to make sure I was giving Croatia a fair shake. Turns out I am.

The other day Petra and I went to a new movie theater. Unfortunately, neither one of us had reviewed the guidelines listed above before we stepped in line. As the person ahead of us finished and moved on to buy popcorn, the phantom ticket purchaser swooped in. No explanation, no apology, no nothing.

Fortunately, the lady at the counter pointed our her iniquity. "A jooooj!" the accused exclaimed as if the 20 person line had been previously invisible to her. "My children are waiting for me, I don't have time to stand in line." (The look on my wife's face was priceless after that gem.)

But then the teller did something even more amazing. "Let's ask this couple if you can buy tickets before them." Stunned, we just stood there and motioned for her to get her tickets. Later, I felt bad. We should've taken a vote. Just because we were next didn't mean that we had the right to let her transgression keep other people from getting to the previews on time.

But as I looked back, I saw no one cared. They'd all been here before. It's normal and should be expected.

It was time to post this.

Double Negative?

2011-09-05T14:47:00.002-04:00

Guesses?

Closure

2011-08-30T06:54:00.002-04:00

Here's a list of things I've spent more time doing lately than paying attention to American politics:
- changing diapers
- reading about the best strategy to incorporate when forming a baseball lineup
- blogging (and you know that has been rare)
- washing my car (rarer still)

What's my point? Following what's going on in D.C. has become rarer than a Chicago Cubs 5 game winning streak. Yet anyone who googles "Orahovica" or "Culture Shock Croatia" (which happens more frequently than I thought) can find out my political views in under 1 minute flat if they click on the "politics" label on the right hand side of the blog. They (you?) may be surprised to find out that though I am an Evangelical Christian, I quite unashamedly would have voted for Barrack Hussein Obama in 2008. Of course the next question is "well what do you think of him now?"

I surrender.

I simply don't know enough to offer an opinion.

I haven't read up on the budget deal. I haven't followed his reaction to Irene. And of course, I'm not familiar with the candidates who will run against Obama in 2012. The only things I know about him are the "poplitical" things that pop up on facebook from time to time, or the pictures of our president holding his head on other various websites.

I cannot respond to people who want me to follow up on my support of him 3 years ago. Is that inconsistent or irresponsible? Possibly.

I will say this though. The values that were foundational to my initial support of President Obama have not changed. Take some time to read those posts if you care to. The candidate who most closely embodies those values will be the one I will vote for next year.

For now, there's just too much other stuff going on in the part of the world I live in to pay attention to what's going on in Washington every day.

Case closed.

Wake-up Call

2011-07-19T10:36:00.004-04:00

Our two year old, Enoh, is close to being potty trained. But he's not quite there yet. So every opportunity I have to help him remember to go to the bathroom is a valuable one. For example, today, after his nap I said: "Enoh, what's the first thing we have to do after our nap?" After pausing to rub his eyes, he responded with enthusiasm: "Wake up!"

Unable to correct him, I laughed and admitted his answer was better than the one for which I had devised the question. As I sat and waited for him to finish his business I began to think about the implications his response had on my life. So I went to the revelation of Truth itself and found this written in Paul's letter to the church in Ephesus: "Wake up sleeper..."

As a strong believer in the fact that there's "no text without context" I backed up a bit to find out what it was that Paul was getting at here.

He's talking about being visible. How are we supposed to be visible if we are not in the light? And how are we supposed to be in the light? By waking up!

It turns out that rather than waxing theological here, Paul gets into some pretty practical stuff:
- make the most of every opportunity
- don't be foolish
- give thanks
- submit to one another

Then he goes on to talk to wives, husbands, parents and children in the passage that includes the warning for fathers; "do not exasperate your children".

What's the point? It's only after we've woken up that we're able to fulfill these proper patterns of behavior. Though "being children of the light" is a very spiritual matter, it leads to a very practical Christian lifestyle.

Enoh was right, he did have to wake up in order to fulfill what it was I wanted him to do. Funny how a child can bring out truth at the most unexpected times.

Wonderfully Terrifying

2011-07-14T16:48:00.002-04:00

Wonderfully terrifying

The measure of which

A being

Or not yet?

Or more so?

Is so closely intimate

Harrowingly acquainted

With our deepest

Our blackest

Our coldest

But infinitely higher

And separated

Outside of ourselves

Oh the heights to which we can reach

And grasp!

And hold!

Not my grip

It could not hold the weight

Of thick vapor

Of massive hollowness

No I am nothing

And the audacity

Which compels my mind

to step up

On crippled legs

Or beaten back

That was his doing

His perfectly glorious intercession

Signs in Slovenia

2011-06-24T05:28:00.003-04:00

Any guesses what these three signs in Ljubljana Slovenia mean?

1.

Happy Birthday Petra!

2011-06-19T08:17:00.001-04:00

New Yorker 1983

The longer I'm married to my wife the more I realize how amazing she is. As the mother of 2 boys under three and another one in the womb, a part-time youth worker who gives it her full devotion and the one in charge of all the logistical details of 4 weeks of summer camp, somehow she finds a way to get it all done well.

So her birthday today is not just a celebration of another year. It's a day to celebrate the life of a devoted mother, selfless wife and an uncompromising woman of God.

Petra, you are amazing.

Volim te do neba visoko.

First Baseball Game in Orahovica

2011-06-10T07:47:00.001-04:00

I've been like a little kid the last few days. Just ask my wife. She'd tell you I've been giddy, maybe even a little immature. Why? Because I'm excited about the first baseball game ever in Orahovica. A few thoughts:

New things are hard to find in this part of the world. No matter what aspect of life we're talking about - religion, recreation, raising kids - people like to do things the way they've always been done. So the fact that so many people are involved in "America's pastime" here in small-town Orahovica is exciting.
I'm proud of my team (made up of both boys and girls) who have been disciplined and dedicated to learning a sport they've never watched.
I'm thankful for the team from Slavonski Brod who are driving from an hour + away to play against us. I can't imagine having an easier time arranging this event than I've had with their coach. Thanks Garret for making this such a pleasure to organize!

Who's going to win? I have no idea. Come to Orahovica tomorrow at 15.00 to find out!

A Visit to the Heartland

2011-05-03T12:28:00.004-04:00

Daddy always said there's a reason why the words "creation" and "Croation" are so similar. Well there's another wordplay mommy likes to point out - sLOVEnia. We had the chance to make the 5 hour drive to small village Slovenia this past weekend.

Of course we got to spend time with our four cousins who live there. We also saw some of their pigs. My brother's not nearly as brave as I am so mommy had to hold his hand on the pig while daddy took the picture.

We also were able to participate in the annual Day of the Region. They always bring out all the animals. Again, my brother looked...

....while I was glad to touch.

Even daddy didn't care to pet this guy.

On May 1st they always decorate a really tall tree and put it up. If you thought your Christmas tree was tall last Christmas, take a look at this one.

Here's the final product:

We got thrown around a bit...

My brother got to rock out with his cousin...

And as always, we ate very, very well.

Mommy's right; I sLOVEnia! .

Weight Watchers

2011-04-27T02:41:00.000-04:00

So, are you fat...or just pregnant again?

After hearing this in Croatian I had two questions for the recipient (my wife) of this comment:

   A. Is that really what she said?!?

   B. How did you manage to keep your composure?!?

Disclaimer: This blog is called "Culture Shock" not "Generalize Croatia". Many, many, many people would not make a comment like this to my wife.

On the other hand, let me tell you two reasons why there is a greater chance Petra will hear this question again in Croatia rather than in America (besides the fact that we don't live in America):

1. Eastern Europeans often tell it like it is. I've gained more weight during Petra's 3rd pregnancy than she has. And if it weren't for some of my friends, I really wouldn't have known. I saw a mother publicly rub her daughter's belly the other day and tell a bunch of people how her daughter had been gaining weight. It didn't seem to phase anyone within earshot - except me. From what I can tell, the mentality is that if you can see it, why not comment on it? While certainly not flattered by such a comment, Petra's used to it. Simply put, if you gain weight in Croatia, you'll hear about it. On the positive side, it's not that big a deal - people just aren't as sensitive about their weight.

2. While being pregnant for the 3rd time within 4 years is not the norm in the States, it's absolutely unheard of here (unless you belong to the Roma community). There's a good chance the person asking the question was being more critical of Petra's pregnancy than her weight gain. But that's the reason Petra didn't get nasty - she's happy to be pregnant again and as far as pregnancies go, she's done very well throughout the first 2 and-a-half. In fact, as we look back we realized the other day that since her pregnancy with Enoh (our first) she's been pregnant more of the time than not. Some have called her brave, others - crazy. The fact is she couldn't be happier.

So go ahead, make the weight comments. It's just the latest item on the long list of things I'm no longer shocked by.

Best of Both Worlds

2011-04-20T16:21:00.000-04:00

Baseball and burek.

European Ingenuity?

2011-04-18T04:43:00.007-04:00

Introduction:

Soon after I arrived in Croatia, I noticed that most grocery stores had a new (to me at least), very organized way of ensuring that shopping carts were put back in their parking spot. As far as I could see, the only negative was that you had to make sure you had a 2 kuna coin ($0.40 or so) every time you went shopping. Otherwise you would not have the privilege of using a cart during your weekly shopping trip.

Story:

But then I visited Hungary. See, for some reason, there are certain grocery products that are less expensive in Hungary than Croatia. So when I dropped my wife off at the train station so she could make her way up to Budapest, I did the shopping before heading back into Croatia.

Background:

I'll be honest, I'm not usually the one who grocery shops. When I enter a grocery store, I don't think about getting a cart. Usually my job in grocery stores is to pick something up that my wife forgot, or grab a snack.

Back to Story:

So it wasn't until after I got to the drink section, checked the prices and picked out a few liters worth of drinks that I realized I would need a cart.

Digression:

Funny thing is, it's stinkin' difficult to get out of a European grocery store if you aren't making a purchase. They have little electronic doors in the check-out lanes that are shut and won't open. The only way to get out of the store is to squeeze past someone who is making a purchase and try to be obvious about the fact that you are not stealing anything. And oh yeah, have I told you how small they make things in Europe?

Conflict:

Once I finally got out of the store, I realized I had no change. I planned on paying for the groceries with a credit card so I didn't have any Hungarian Forints (no they don't use the Euro) yet.

Climax and Resolution:

About the time I start thinking "Why don't I just go back to Croatia and buy my stuff there?" I see a stray shopping cart. "Thank you Mr. or Mrs. Hungarian who didn't care to get your change back!" I say out loud as I run to the cart and proudly strut back inside the store.

Debrief - A pair of suggestions and a justification:

1. Why not create some jobs, Europeans? Hire someone to take the carts back to the store.

2. While I know foreigners are not usually the ones to visit your grocery stores, why not create a coin slot that accepts a variety of coins? That way, even in Croatia, you can take a cart with a 1 or 5 kuna coin.

3. (Not a suggestion). I needed a post. It's been weeks since I've posted anything, months since I've written. Here's an attempt to get back into the primary purpose of this blog in the first place - to tell about my foreign experiences in foreign countries.

Conclusion:

So far my series in European Ingenuity has featured 2 brilliant inventions. Sorry Europe, this one gets a thumbs down from me.

Another Sign

2011-03-21T16:56:00.001-04:00

Americans, any idea what this one means? I found out after a close call two years after I moved to Croatia.

A Funeral Story

2011-02-28T13:40:00.006-05:00

It wasn't my first Croatian funeral, but it was close. I hadn't even been to that many American funerals, nor had I played solo trombone at a cemetary before. So this was a new experience.

After warming up with Amazing Grace to begin the ceremony, I waited for the small village procession to move towards the grave that had been prepared a few minutes beforehand. Like most outdoor funerals I've attended, this one was overcast, muddy and generally dreary. The blacks, browns and grays made the event especially dismal.

We trodded over to the tomb in a sloppy line and listened to the preacher speak. His tone was pointed, but hopeful, his message short but clear - a stark contrast to the rest of the funeral.

It was my turn again. As I raised my trombone to begin It is Well with my Soul, I heard yelling in the distance. I hesitated, but still began the melody.

When peace like a river

Footsteps, like those of someone being chased, gradually approached.

attendeth my way

All of a sudden, several sheep began trotting between my trombone and the grave.

When sorrows...

The climax of the verse never made it further than my buzzing lips. As the flock of sheep grew, they began coming faster, the shepherd's cries were louder, and the dog's barks filled up whatever space was left free of sound. It was utter chaos.

But only in my little world. The rest of the small village continued doing whatever people with bowed heads do. They didn't look up. The funeral went on. I quickly realized my "sea billows" had to continue to roll. So I kept playing - taking a cue from the funeral attendees. Even when the dog stopped at my feet and began howling up at me, as if to accompany, I continued playing.

When all was said and done, I realized it had been a normal funeral. No one seemed surprised, embarrassed or at all affected by what I thought was a blatent interruption. The villagers acted as if attending a funeral with a traveling petting zoo is a frequent activity.

And you know what? It probably is.

Two facts about villages in Croatia were at work here: 1. Farming of some kind is the primary way of life, and 2. Villages are dying. I don't know much else, because I don't live in a Croatian village.

Looking back, there was only one abnormality about the funeral to those in attendance; the American with his trombone.

Even the dog knew that.

A Simple Truth

2011-02-15T05:00:00.001-05:00

I mentioned in my introduction that one of the aspects of culture shock I would be facing would be that of having a child. Two and a half years later, that child is, well, two and-a-half years old and we have another one-year-old. I have made the following observation:

The amount of time one has to blog is directly influenced by the number of kids one has.

It's a plain and simple truth that I've found to be true on other blogs as well.

To my followers; thank you for your patience. There is more to come. I will keep updating. Just not as often as I used to.

One Thing I'll Miss

2011-01-28T15:24:00.003-05:00

In Croatia, you rarely see someone enjoying coffee over a book, magazine or computer like you often see in the States. One of the classic scenes in a relational culture is a coffee shop filled with people on both sides of the table.

And it's not like everyone in America just goes out for a latte by themselves. In fact, I would guess that most Starbucks coffee shops are frequented by pairs rather than singles. But it's certainly not as universal as Eastern Europe.

For the last month, I've been taking a class and I'll tell you, for my money, there's no better place to study than a coffee shop. Some may say there's too much noise, but headphones and music will take care of that. Features like free refills, wi-fi and a close outlet for my laptop are easy to find. Still other comforts like a fireplace and an assortment of different coffees and signs indicating when they were brewed are also common - especially at my favorite venue - Panera Bread.

Sound strange? I'll tell you more over coffee when I get back.

When Meteorology leads to Theology

2011-01-11T20:41:00.002-05:00

It must have been the summer of '95 when baseball cards were overproduced and my best friend and I waited breathlessly for the Beckett price guide to arrive in the mail the first week of every month. It must have been, because I can't remember another time we would've risked getting soaked and having our bike-rides severely affected by slippery streets in order to buy a pack of the new Topps Stadium Club at a department store more than a mile away.

I remember it well because I had never been afraid of lightning before. But as we anticipated the last corner of the ride and slowed down just enough to make the turn without skidding out, I felt a sizzling sensation as the hair on my neck stood up.

SNAP!

It wasn't a boom or a bang. It was a sharp crackle that quickly exploded right next to me. A flagpole - within an arms length as I passed by - had just been struck by lightning.

Even though I hadn't been hit, the feeling paralyzed me for the next few years every time I was outside in a storm.

Fast-forward to the summer of '98. I was working towards becoming "one of the Few" at Parris Island South Carolina. Marine Corps boot camp thrives on disorientation and intimidation - especially during the first few weeks. We were marching from the chow-hall to the barracks when the sky quickly thickened, then opened up, drenching us within seconds of the first drop falling. Despite orders to get our platoon to the barracks as soon as possible, the toughest of our drill-instructors marched us as if the sun were shining. He was Force-Recon, a sniper, and refused to allow weather to interfere with training.

"A left, A left, A left, right!" He called as if he were singing a question. "A left, A left, A lefty right!" He finished his melody.

BOOM!

You know the lightning's close when you hear it the same time you see it. Our D.I. departed from his script with a two word curse towards the sky and quickly commanded us to run back to the barracks. Lowering my rifle to below the plane of most of the other rifles, I got back under cover as soon as possible.

Why does this memory come up every time there's a thunderstorm?

I remember being struck by the one time our Drill Instructor acknowledged a greater authority. Sure, we had learned the chain of command. We knew there were officers in charge. But the D.I.'s were our gods during boot camp. They disciplined. They trained. They gave and they took away.

Though very brief, during that one split second, another Being came in, made Himself known, and it was all I needed. Look at what the Psalms say on this matter:

I know that the LORD is great, that our LORD is greater than all gods...He makes clouds rise from the ends of the earth; he sends lightning with the rain and brings out the wind from his storehouses.

How often do we take the creation around us for granted? How easy is it for us to allow all the other things in our life to distract us from the Author of salvation. Praise God for the lightning, sunsets and nor'easter's that remind us of who's in control.

I know that the Lord is great, that our Lord is greater than all gods.

The Three Little Pigs

2011-01-04T18:03:00.001-05:00

During our time in the States, we've had the privilege of hosting one of our friends from Croatia. It's her first time in the U.S. so I was fascinated to find out what she would notice about the Land that "was made for you and me". Would it be how big everything is? Would she notice the cars, the billboards, the differences in the milk? Well, yes, yes, yes and yes.

But her very first observation was of how Americans build their houses. "They're so thin!" She exclaimed after knocking on the wall at a Friendly's restaurant. The comment reminded me of the Three Little Pigs. Isn't it interesting that one of the most popular stories we tell our children exhorts us to build with brick? Yet, I would guess that most houses in America are made of wood.

Croatians - and I would guess most Europeans - have heeded the advice offered by the conclusion of the story. The vast majority of houses in Croatia are made of brick and concrete and therefore have fewer fires to worry about. On the other hand, houses take years, sometimes decades to complete because of the cost of brick versus wood.

A case can be made for both. What do you think?

A New Year's Greeting

2010-12-31T13:40:00.007-05:00

After a holiday hiatus, I have to get back in the blogging game. And there's no better way to do so than to rely heavily on one of my favorite Op Ed columnists - David Brooks. In his latest piece he reviews a book called "All Things Shining". He highlights several parts of the book, but let me cut to the chase. Brooks paraphrases authors Hubert Dreyfus of Berkeley and Sean Dorrance Kelly of Harvard when he says this:

The most real things in life well up and take us over. They call this experience “whooshing up.” We get whooshed up at a sports arena, at a political rally or even at magical moments while woodworking or walking through nature.

He then goes on to dismiss some of the conclusions these two philosophers come to, but zeroes in on something that grabbed my attention:

We have official stories we tell about our culture: each individual is the captain of his own ship; we are all children of God. But in practice, willy-nilly, the way we actually live is at odds with the official story. Our most vibrant institutions are collective, not individual or religious. They are there to create that group whoosh: the sports stadium, the concert hall, the political rally, the theater, the museum and the gourmet restaurant. Even church is often more about the ecstatic whoosh than the theology.

The activities often dismissed as mere diversions are actually central. Real life is more about serial whooshes than coherent meaning.

(emphasis my own)
Then Brooks concludes:

We can either rebel against this superficial drift, or like Dreyfus and Kelly, go with the flow, acknowledging that the autonomous life is impossible, not seeking totalistic theologies, but instead becoming sensitive participants in the collective whooshings that life offers.

Is it true that real life is more about whooshes than coherent meaning? Can your life be defined that way? Is mine?

As much as I think these writers are on to something, I'd like to see myself swimming against the tide. If there's ever a time for rebellion I would suggest it should be against the trivial, insignificant, but often popular events our society engages in.

So here's to a fulfilled life - even when the glass is empty. Here's to looking at life from a different perspective. Here's to a coherent, meaningful, and Story-driven 2011.

Happy New Year!

The _____________ Twos

2010-12-14T23:53:00.002-05:00

Turning two - and having a child that turns two - can be shocking. Although I've done the former, I can do a better job of reporting on the latter. Let me give you some adjectives to describe the culture shock that has accompanied Enoh's transition into the twos.

1. Terrible. Don't stop here! It's not that bad. But sometimes you just have those instances, like the one below, where you wonder what got into your kid. For those of you who received our Christmas card this year, this was the scene 10 minutes before the family picture was taken. Yep, it can be terrible, but those moments only last for a...moment.

2. Turbulent. This is the one my wife prefers to terrible. And I get it. The life of a parent of a two-year-old is a plane ride over the Icelandic volcano - up, down and all around. You just never know what response you'll get to a "no" or which parent, grandparent, or stranger they'll prefer over you next. Oh, and restlessness? Off the charts.

3. Teachable. It's amazing how Enoh has been learning. We've had him thouroughly confused for close to two years now with this whole bilingual thing. But he's starting to catch on. It's rewarding and enjoyable to see a two year old learn - no matter what it is.

4. Tender. Enoh was never a cuddler before he turned two. But the combination of being the recipient of frequent hugs and the arrival of a younger brother have brought out some tender - albeit brief - moments. Enoh is a wonderful big brother.

5. Terrific. Genuine smiles are the best. And when you get one from a two year old, you know it's real. With all the terribleness and turbulence, comes a whole lot of terrific-ness. We love you Enoh!

'Tis Always the Season

2010-12-07T14:39:00.012-05:00

As we sat down on the pew last Sunday, our 2 year-old son Enoh looked up at the projector screen hanging from the ceiling in front of the pipe organ and said in a manner that would make any Christian dad proud: "Iwant...Isus (Jesus)!"

Enoh begins at least half of his sentences this way whether the object is in Croatian or English: "Iwant...gamma" (grandma), or "Iwant..meko" (mlijeko, or milk). (We are working on "please")

What was it about this church service that made him say he wanted Jesus? Did he associate the PowerPoint on a large screen (like many congregants would these days) with church? Did he connect the pipe organ (like many congregants in the past) with religion? I honestly don't know for sure.

But I don't think so. I think it started with the fact that there were a bunch of people in the room. I think the kind people who gave us a hug and asked how we're doing gave him another clue. I think standing, praying and singing as one may have clinched it for him.

I want Jesus too. And I love that a congregation who loves and cares for each other gives us a glimpse of who he is and indicates that he is among us. Christ came to redeem his people. He came because he loves his church and desires for others to come to him. I'm reminded of what Christ told his disciples before he was betrayed:

"Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

May we, as Christ's church, regardless of the season, leave others with the desire to know Jesus by our love.

Reverse Culture Shock: Black Friday

2010-11-29T20:18:00.124-05:00

Like the Running of the Bulls in Spain, Carnival in Brazil and Oktoberfest in Germany, Black Friday has become a defining cultural event in America. So, it was my duty as a culture shock weblogger to observe Black Friday firsthand.

After waking up at 3:30 a.m., my wife, my brother and I drove to the closest collection of consumer attractions called (appropriate for this day) The Shoppes at Blackstone Valley in Millbury Massachusetts.

As we approached the shopping center we thought we must have had it all wrong. "Wow, this isn't bad! There's hardly anyone else going to the stores" I mentioned as we drove towards the mall. We soon realized why. The parking lot was already completely full and everyone and their brother was in line waiting for the store to open at 4 am.

But it didn't seem like four o' clock in the morning. Once inside, the store hummed with excitement. Televisions, most almost as big as their soon-to-be owners, zipped around in their red vehicles. Shoppers knew what they wanted, where they would find them and exactly what method had to be exercised in order to pull the desired merchandise off the shelf before their closest competitor did.

Surprisingly, it didn't get nasty. That was the one positive thing I pulled away from the whole day. It was as if everyone knew how dangerous this could get. Two years ago a Wall-Mart employee was trampled to death by a herd of consumers bursting through the doors to get inside. But today there was no rough-play. In fact, my wife reported that one gentleman kindly offered his cart to another guy in need of space to drop his stack of DVDs, video games and other electronics he had collected.

Since 2001 Black Friday has been the biggest shopping day of the year, but not until this year did so many shoppers shop. Get this: In 2010, 212 million Americans shopped in stores or online during Black Friday Weekend. That's 8% more than last year and more than two thirds the population of the country. Get your calculators out, because once you figure that each consumer spent an average of $365, you'll get an idea of why people say the recession is over.

What I thought was interesting was how programmed the shoppers were. I overheard one lady say she got in line at midnight. But it didn't phase her or the person she was talking to at all because she - like most other shoppers - came well prepared. Each person had an objective, knew what to do and was fulfilling their plan with confidence. There was no embarassment, no shame, no feeling that this was something out of the ordinary. Besides the person behind me who said "that guy's taking pictures of all of us idiots", everyone seemed to feel very comfortable in their element.

In fact, this wasn't a shocking scene for most people. It was completely normal. It happens every year. It happens every day! Whether you like it or not, America is in many ways defined by their consumerism. For better or worse it's what we do. We consume.

But if you're like me, you wish it weren't so. A couple minutes after engaging in this cultural event, I was ready to go. Ready to go back to what I already had. Ready to celebrate Thanksgiving again. Ready to go back to a country where a want doesn't constitute a need.

America, you've got a lot of things going for you. But Black Friday is certainly not one of them.

My First Thanksgiving

2010-11-26T07:01:00.002-05:00

They say it was my "first Thanksgiving!"

I met some people who I've only seen on a computer before.

They played with me.

And I played with them.

They also played with my brother.

While all that was going on my mama and oma cooked.

And stuffed.

And cooked some more.

We ate and were satisfied.

What does Thanksgiving mean to me?

I'm not sure I can put it into words.

But I do my best to express it.

I am grateful for all of the Bohalls who made my first Thanksgiving so amazing!

Have you read any good books lately?

2010-11-22T09:44:00.004-05:00

Yes.

When we visit the States, I tend to have more time to read for pleasure than I do in Croatia. Two years ago I spent all of that time devouring Anna Kerenina. This time I'll invest my reading energy into a variety of books and authors. Here's the latest:

The Unlikely Disciple is a fun read. The rookie author of this book - Kevin Roose - decided to take a semester off from Brown University and attend Liberty University while covertly assembling the thoughts contained in this book back in 2007. He's not an Evangelical Christian nor had he ever been immersed in Evangelical culture before his transfer.

So it's a book about culture shock. Roose's political views are drastically different than those of the conservative Evangelical student body at LU. He believes in evolution but is surrounded by young-creationists. And perhaps most severe, his tolerance of homosexuality collides with the often homophobic comments he encounters numerous times every day.

But what about the faith aspect? How does his unbelief fit in?

Without giving away any of the conclusions he comes to by the end of his experience, let me share one quote that's worth considering:

Liberty's true social code, the one they don't put in a forty-six-page manual, has everything to do with being a social and religious conservative and not a whole lot to do with acting in any traditionally virtuous way.

Whoa. And that observation is only a third of the way into the book.

This is an entertaining read. It's an enlightening read. It's also an important read.

If you're interested in finding out more, visit http://www.kevinroose.com/. On his site you'll be able to read an excerpt from the book.

Kingdom Culture

2010-11-10T16:24:00.003-05:00

Culture shock need not apply only to the contrast between traditions, values and religions in different countries.

This morning I experienced the vast dichotomy between two completely different cultures. But I didn't even have to get in a plane to do so. I simply turned on the car.

The song was called Beloved. The melody was sung by a smooth tenor over open guitar chords, and not much else. Often truth dresses itself in simplicity.

Derek Webb has written a beautiful song from Christ to His Church:

Beloved listen to me
Don’t believe all that you see
And don’t you ever let anyone tell you
That there’s anything that you need
But me

The words I heard a few minutes later on the radio were equally exclusive:

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

Talk about two completely different sets of values!

I'm not sure if I've ever heard a better summary of what our pop culture promotes than what this second set of lyrics delivers. If we're coming at this from a Christian perspective we could begin to point out all the differences between what we believe and what our culture believes. It's an important discussion to have.

Because if we're followers of Jesus we live in both worlds. It won't do to physically separate ourselves from the rest of the world as if it were as easy as flying to another continent. Instead, we've been called to "be transformed". Not transported. We're to "be transformed by the renewing of our minds."

I would suggest that prayer is the best place to start. As Jesus commanded us to pray:

Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Heads Up!

2010-11-05T22:21:00.000-04:00

As I sat down on the subway in Boston last week and looked around, I was amazed by the number of people who had their heads buried in some kind of flat hand-held web-surfing rectangle. Now, don't get me wrong. It's not that Croatians (and other Eastern Europeans for that matter) don't use small electronic devices. The point is that they're not constantly browsing the Internet on their BlackBerry. They're not looking at pictures on facebook with their Itouch. They (generally) simply text and are done. I would guess that most Eastern Europeans would be shocked if they saw what I saw the other day. I sure was.

At the risk of promoting a rather hypocritical advertisement (isn't the point to get you to use their phone more than someone elses?) this commercial exaggerates, but is dead on:

Money Matters

2010-11-03T10:18:00.002-04:00

There are differences between the way people use money in America and the way they use it in Croatia. Certainly, some of the comments below may apply to other places; ie. America may corrolate with western Europe, Croatia with Bosnia, who knows? But since I'm an American living in Croatia visiting America, I'll stick to what I've observed first hand.

1. Change. I drove up to my local Dunkin' Donuts the other day, ordered a medium french vanilla coffee with cream and sugar and was told that I would owe the lady at the window $2.02. I panicked. In America, you pay what they tell you to pay. In Croatia, they'd be fine with $2.00. $1.50 would probably do too if you were going to the local bakery and you told them you'd pay them back next time. But here, if you can't find 2 pennies among all the junk in your pocket, you'll have to pay $3 and receive a whole heapload of change. At least next time you'll have it.

2. Tips. I'm told the going rate is 15% here in the good old United States of Be Kind to you Waiter or Waitress. When I was a server I had to earn my tips. This unwritten rule of 15% bugs me these days because I live in a land where the only things you leave on the table are your crumbs. In Croatia, the price of the meal is the price of the meal. No hidden cost. No expectations. No alternative motives. End of story.

Last week I went to a restaurant in Boston to watch the World Series with my brother. The waitress promised us she'd turn the channel to the game as soon as we sat down. Fifteen minutes later, she took our drink order. A half hour later she asked us what we wanted to eat. Finally, forty five minutes after the initial promise, the channel changed to the 5th inning of the baseball game. How much did she get? That's right, 15 percent. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about the service. I'm just complaining about backwards mindset of being required to pay what's supposed to be a reward. It's called a tip right?

3. Prices. Good old consumer America has good prices. They have sales. They have clearance sections. They have bright red stickers with unbelievable prices written on them that make you think you've uncovered a pot of gold. I know, because I was there today. I visited the hat section of my local Gap store and found one for $2.97 among all the others priced at $25. Two Dollars and ninety seven cents! I bought that cap faster than you can say "price check" and got myself out of dodge.

So there's good and bad in both places. In Croatia, you pay up to ying-yang for clothes, electricity and gas. In America, college can put you in debt for a lifetime and you pay an arm and a leg to have a baby. Which country is kinder to your wallet? I'd have to say Croatia.

But that's just my 2 cents.

Culture Shock in the Melting Pot

2010-10-29T14:53:00.007-04:00

It was the most mellow sound I had heard in years. A slow ballad backed a smooth trumpet melody and accompanied the delightful five minute interval between my descent into the Boston T-station and my entrance onto the red-line train.

My hearing wasn't the only sense stimulated by an everyday event everyone else was accustomed to. The diversity of the soon-to-be passengers both entertained and confused my vision. "Where am I?", I had to ask, despite the fact that I knew I was in melting-pot America and more specifically Quincy Massachusetts - only 5 subway stops from the heart of Boston.

Quincy is classic Boston in more ways than one. Named after John Quincy Adams, it's a city, but a suburb, urban, but historic, diverse but united by its appeal. The same could be said for Salem - our residence during my final year of college and the most popular place to celebrate Halloween in America.

But the point isn't Quincy, Salem or even Boston. I'm reminded of the Sunday School song I sang as a kid; "He's got the whole world in his hands". To take nothing from the Lord's omnipotence, the American City has the whole world in its grasp. Red, yellow, black and white, urban America is a refreshingly beautiful sight - at least for these sore eyes.

Take your pick - Pakistani restaurant, Dominican hair-salon, Bosnian night-club or Boston sports bar - it's all here. The teenager in a burqa who served me coffee this morning instructed her Mexican co-worker how to blend it. A blind African-American woman asked a second generation Asian student if she could help her find the entrance. The pipe smoking, thickly bearded Caucasian walked quickly, not noticing the kaleidoscope of skin he passed.

He didn't even think about it because it's home for him. Home for representatives of every country in the world. Home for me - even if it's only for three months. Because even though I'm visiting from another part of the world, I'm among other visitors whose distinction is becoming less about their skin color and more about their decision to stay.

The trumpeter feels at home too. Or at least that's how the perfect balance of melody, rhythm and acoustics convey itself as it settles ironically into a space originally developed solely for transportation. The foreign sounds fit in perfectly.

Suddenly a jumpy bossa nova beat interrupts my thoughts and introduces the approaching train. Off to other sights and sounds. Off to another diversely united city of America.

Off to another place I could call home.

Orahovica, I will miss you

2010-10-23T02:48:00.005-04:00

We're headed to the US of A in just a few days. Maybe it's the fall weather leaving me with some nostalgia. Maybe it's the fact that I feel more at home here everyday. No matter what, there's a lot I'll miss about Orahovica Croatia. Here are the top 5:

5. The bakery. Fresh baked rolls for 50 cents. Bakers who smile pleasantly when I make a mistake in Croatian because they've been part of the learning process with me. Burek s mesom. You will be missed.

4. The scenery. I know, I know. I'm headed back to New England and the fall foliage will be fantastic. But the horses, the river and the beauty of the foothills of Orahovica are tough to leave behind.

3. Baseball. "Are you kidding me?" you may ask. "The World Series starts the day you get to the States and you're complaining about leaving baseball behind?" Last Sunday we played our best game yet. These teens and kids have come a long way since we started 3 years ago. Can't wait for spring BOK!

2. Our church. The other day we were talking to someone in the States about our sending church. Turns out, even though we're considered missionaries, our sending church is right here in Orahovica. They pray for us. They support us. They've cared for us tremendously. We'll miss the corporate worship with Betanija church while we're gone.

1. Our friends. Whenever you leave a place, it's always the people you miss most. No exception here.

Orahovico, falit' ćeš me.

European Ingenuity Part Deux

2010-10-20T16:55:00.008-04:00

You've heard me complain about the roads, driving and parking in Croatia. You've endured the sob-stories about how many obstacles there are and how many accidents I've been a part of.

But friends, let me tell you about the silver lining. The light at the end of the tunnel if you will. Because, while I have lost my love for driving since I moved here, there's a well deserved prize waiting for me when I arrive at my destination in any Croatian city.

For this demonstration we will use Osijek - the city we frequent the most when we venture out of Orahovica. It's the first place I came across our latest edition of European Ingenuity.

Let me introduce to you the idea of paying by cell-phone. Maybe you'd call it Mobile Magic if you live in England. Whatever the case, when in Croatia you'd be terribly behind if you chose to pay for parking the old fashion way. Dropping coins in the slot? Phhh! That's so yesterday.

Let me show you how it works:

1. As you're looking for a parking spot keep your eye out for this blue parking device. Once you're there - don't even think about getting out...

2...unless you forgot your license plate number.

3. Type that number as a text message (make sure you've stopped the car so as not to violate the commitment you made to Oprah) and send the message to the 4-digit number listed on the cell phone in picture number 1.

Folks, that's it. That's all you have to do. But what happens after you text the number to City Parking?

1. You'll immediately receive a message confirming your request to park in the beautiful city of Osijek.

2. City Parking will send an approximately 75 cent bill (the price of parking) to your cell phone company which you will pay the next time you pay your monthly cell-phone bill.

3. You may do your shopping, enjoy the sights and sounds or conduct your business without having to worry about when to pay again. Why? Because your friendly neighborhood City Parking will notify you via cell phone 10 minutes before your time runs out. Then all you have to do is repeat steps 1 through 3.

Too bad driving isn't that easy huh?

Clash of Cultures

2010-10-15T08:34:00.000-04:00

A compromise has been reached.

Lost in Creation

2010-10-13T06:46:00.030-04:00

One of the reasons we love Croatia as much as we do is because of the natural beauty. And it just so happens that Orahovica - the town we live in - offers as many examples of that beauty as any place in Croatia.

Today, as I prepared the morning must-haves - coffee for myself and a bottle for Ian - I looked out the window to see 5 horses practically in our backyard. Every fall, the owner of a nearby corral lets his horses graze on the land right behind ours. We're fortunate to have them drop by every so often. This was the scene this morning:

They seemed to enjoy our company almost as much as we enjoyed theirs so Enoh and I stood watching them for about 10 minutes. Both of us must have gotten caught up in the situation because as soon as one of the horses snorted we both jumped and laughed.

What is it about God's creation that causes us to lose ourselves?

I was reminded of the way David expressed his awe in Psalm 139:

How precious to me are your thoughts oh God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them they would outnumber the grains of sand.

A Common Language

2010-10-07T02:45:00.019-04:00

If you're a regular here on the Culture Shock weblog, consider yourself privileged.

No, I don't say that because this is a spectacular blog or anything. I say it because that means that you are part of the 4 billion people in the world who use English - or "Globish" as Newsweek calls it. In other words, not only can you read and understand this blog, you are able to speak with, listen to, or understand 67% of the rest of the world when they use English.

While I studied teaching ESL four years ago, we were told that we might someday find ourselves in a situation where 2 people from 2 different parts of the world who speak 2 different languages are communicating in a common second language - English. They used the example of two businessmen - one Japanese and one Dutch meeting in Cairo, and speaking a language which is native neither to the people nor the land. "Pretty cool", I thought, "I wonder if I will ever see that?"

Turns out that I have seen something like it on a few occasions since I've lived in Croatia. Just this morning, I listenened to a conversation between these two guys:

The one on the left is Croat. He asked the teenager on the right from Norway to tell him a little about the electronic drumset he was playing as part of the concert they would be putting on this evening in our small town of Orahovica. They spoke English and understood each other quite well. Even though Croatian and Norwegian were their native languages, they successfully used a second language to communicate effectively.

It happens all around the world folks. So while it may not seem like a privilege to speak a language most of the world understands, if English is your native tongue, the fact is the rest of the world is learning how to communicate with you.

Kind of convicting for someone who only knows one language fluently. Thankfully, it's English.

Have I Ever Told You About Parking Lots/Spots In Croatia?

2010-10-02T03:23:00.007-04:00

One of the reasons I update this blog is to inform those who come after me. Some of the things I've experienced in Croatia have taken me completely by surprise. For example, I had no idea it was so beautiful here. Have I mentioned the hospitality? And who would have thought you might have to pay to use the facilities?

Now it's time to add parking lots to the list of things that have taken me off guard.

I've been at fault for 2 car accidents in my 12 years of driving. Both happened in Croatia. Both occurred while driving slower than 3 MPH. And both car accidents were in a parking lot.

Now, I realize I am the one at fault. Not Croatia. I understand that. And I've taken full responsibility. But if you are an American driver who learned how to park at Wal-Mart, just know that things are different here. Parking often involves sidewalks - two tires on, two tires off. Parking is often very hard to find. The lines are extremely narrow. Your car will get scraped by someone else's door.

And people often double-park.

Our good friends the Wilsons came to visit right at the end of the tourist season so we decided to take them to the coast of Croatia.

We made a plan to visit one of their college friends who lived 2-3 hours away. Because of the fact that between the 3 couples we have 6 kids, we found it adventageous to plan ahead. On Thursday, we decided to make the trip Saturday. We would leave the house at such-and-such a time so that we could make the right ferry, that would put us in Split by such-and-such a time so we could see the city but make it back on the ferry by such-and-such a time so the kids could get to bed at a decent time. Our plan was foolproof.

Until Saturday morning when I went to the car to pack some things before the trip and found that a van had parked right behind us making it impossible to leave the parking lot. That wouldn't have been so bad except that the van belonged to 1 of 40 fishermen who were already competing in the annual island contest and were spread out along a kilometer of rock on the water.

I stood and looked at the van in disbelief. Are you kidding me?!? You park right behind my car and then go and participate in a competition in which you actually have to sit there the whole time and wait for a fish to attach itself your string?

I walked back trying to hold my composure and found a judge. He was surprisingly very pleasant when I told him the situation with my less-than-perfect Croatian. He promised to find the culprit. And he did. It just so happened that Mr. White Van was near where we were talking. He agreed to move the van as soon as we were ready to go. And he did. And we made our ferry. And we had a great day.

So why did I get so frustrated?

Because I'm still not used to it! I would like to be able to pull smoothly into a wide parking spot, take care of my business and be able to leave without any issue. I guess I'm a typical American who relies on ease and lots of space. Often that's not the way it works here though.

I know it's a small thing. It really is.

Almost as small as the parking spots in Croatia.

Uncle JB Reads to Enoh

2010-09-30T06:03:00.004-04:00

A New Milestone

2010-09-29T14:59:00.002-04:00

Several people have asked me recently how the Wilsons are doing. We had the great pleasure of having them visit us in Croatia a few weeks ago. Can you imagine taking two young daughters on a plane to Europe for a two week vacation? They did it. And they were a huge encouragement to us while they were here.

Erin posted this on TheWilsonHeart.com today. I encourage you to read it. The post/prayer crossbridge family wrote on their behalf is incredibly moving.

Peek-A-Boo

2010-09-28T04:58:00.004-04:00

The Solver

2010-09-24T03:29:00.003-04:00

Funny how one word can set the theme for the summer. When I think back on what just happened, this one event, one song, one simple word best summarizes our summer 2010. And the word's not even in English. Let me explain.

Camps are the highlight of the year for my wife. This year was a big one because camps returned to the town they originated in and the town we live and serve in. That meant that throughout July we would live and breathe camp. Since my wife and I are egalitarians through and through, we decided to divide things up nice and evenly - she would work 3 weeks of camp, I would work 1 week and stay with the boys during the other 3 weeks.

It was during that one week of camp that I learned a new Croatian word - riješiti - to solve, resolve or deal with. The head of camps used the word constantly - but only in the future tense. One person would ask "so what are we going to do now that our main worship leader is sick?" To which he would respond, "riješiti čemo ." - "We'll solve that later."

(This is to say nothing of his leadership abilities. Often the problems got solved quickly and efficiently. But still - in the middle of all the confusion, his answers weren't satisfying.)
_____________________________________________

Fast-forward to August when my parents and I were driving up to Austria to celebrate my dad's 60th. We had the opportunity to stay overnight with one of Petra's relatives in Slovenia. While we were there we were invited to the opening night of Young Adult camp at a camp very similar to ours in Orahovica. Now the Slovenian language is different from Croatian, but there are enough similarities that most Croatians and Slovenians can get by listening to each others' languages and speaking their own.

When the first song began, I recognized it. The chorus would start with the word "Savior" and even though we hadn't translated it into Croatian yet, I was ready to sing the Croatian word for Savior - Spasitelj - quite literally, a person who saves.

But to my surprise, the word sung instead was Rešitelj - a person who solves - The Solver. All of a sudden my mind went back to all the chaos and confusion of camp in Orahovica on the first day. It's difficult to summarize emotions, but the Psalm Paul wrote to the church in Colossians summed up my feelings pretty well:

Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your own mind because of your evil behavior.
But now he has reconciled you, by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation.

Christ is the Solver. We often don't know how he will solve, nor do we always like his solutions. But from the creation of the world, to how all things are held together through him, to his death on the cross, Christ is my Solver. What a reassuring thought.

Enoh and Copland Play Catch

2010-09-24T02:40:00.001-04:00

Menu Misprint?

2010-08-14T11:21:00.000-04:00

Not that cucumbers with black pepper sounds all that appetizing in the first place, but the sauce this Slovakian restaurant serves it with makes it even less appealing.

My Experience at Dachau Concentration Camp

2010-08-08T17:29:00.007-04:00

When I arrived, I knew I could go back.

When the gate closed, it was so they could take a nice picture.

When it rained, I opened my umbrella.

When I saw opportunity, I could afford to take it.

When I looked out, I saw sightseers.

When the wind blew, I zipped up.

When I had experienced enough, I left.

Payback

2010-07-15T09:06:00.003-04:00

"Welcome to the Balkans!", my passenger announced as we sped up and reviewed the scene that had just happened in front of us.

It was raining hard - "like there were 3 guys standing on top of our car pouring buckets of water on the windshield" as my friend put it. The car in front of us was going slower than the oil spill recovery efforts. And behind us was a driver who was in a Hurry.

Speedy Gonzalez found a way around our car despite the oncoming traffic - who had to slow down to accomodate his impatience. But he was forced to squeeze between my car and the car in front of us. As soon as the oncoming traffic had passed, Mr. Fast tried to pass Mr. Slow but Mr. Slow crept over to the other lane (whenever possible) to keep Mr. Fast in line.

Both my passenger and I were keeping an eye on the situation despite our conversation. I did my best to keep a distance, but Mr. Slow was even more intent on driving slowly (and on the line) when he saw how successful he had been in irritating his opponent.

All this was brewing as we drove on for a kilometer or two, but I couldn't have predicted the revenge in quite the way it happened.

We were approaching an exit to our right. Before we even got there, the speedster veered into the breakdown lane, put his elbow on the horn, his foot on the accelerator and stared at the slow driver over his shoulder as he passed.

But then the wheels started turning in his brain and just about stopped turning on the car. He screeched and swerved back onto the road slowing down to 5 k/hr. The slow car in front of us was forced to go even slower prompting several angry honks and creating an even bigger line behind us. Finally, at the last second, the instigator sped off onto the exit ramp having achieved his retribution.

And so my passenger's initial reaction was correct. There is indeed a special breed of revenge in the Balkans. Having just come from Hungary, but familiar with the former-Yugosloavia, he had apparently seen the creativity with which many Croats and Serbs have plotted revenge in the past. Let's face it, most - if not all - of the conflict in the history of this part of the world comes down to payback: "Son, let me tell you what the ___________(insert ethnic group) did to your mother", for example. And it takes generations for it to die out.

Perhaps it never will.

On Missions and Worship

2010-07-05T08:30:00.000-04:00

Missions is not the ultimate goal of the church. Worship is. Missions exists because worship doesn't. Worship is ultimate, not missions, because God is ultimate, not man. When this age is over, and the countless millions of the redeemed fall on their faces before the throne of God, missions will be no more. It is a temporary necessity. But worship abides forever.

Worship therefore, is the fuel and goal in missions. It's the goal of missions because in missions we simply aim to bring the nations into the white-hot enjoyment of God's glory. The goal of missions is the gladness of the peoples in the greatness of God. 'The Lord reigns; let the earth rejoice; let the many coastlands be glad! (Psalm 97:1). Let the peoples praise thee, O God; let all the peoples praise thee! Let the nations be glad and sing for joy! (Psalm 67:3-4).

But worship is also the fuel of missions. Passion for God in worship precedes the offer of God in preaching. You can't commmend what you don't cherish. Missionaries will never call out, 'Let the nations be glad!', who can't say from the heart, 'I rejoice in the Lord...I will be glad and exult in thee, I will sing praise to thy name, O Most High' (Psalm 104:34;9:2). Missions begins and ends in worship.

- From Let the Nations be Glad by John Piper

On Godly Parenting

2010-07-01T02:24:00.001-04:00

My parents are good parents. The older I've become, the more I've realized that fact. Having children made me realize that fact. Observing other parents made me realize that fact. But rather than listing all the things my parents have done right, I want to zero in on the thing they have done right.

That thing, though certainly not a secret, is often a mystery for parents - even Christian parents. Miroslav Volf, in an article called Will My Son Be a Christian? wondered aloud:

I'd almost rather [my son] be no Christian than an indifferent Christian, or, even worse, a zealous Christian manipulating faith to promote his own selfish ends. But I want him to embrace Christianity as a faith by which to live and for which to die. But how do I pass on that kind of faith?

After describing the fear he had in letting his faith "dribble away" as he tried his best to pass it on, and after pondering several solutions, Dr. Volf recalls:

Then I remembered my mother's prayers. Right language about God matters; godly life matters even more. Yet neither will suffice. If the seed sown by word and deed is to grow and bear fruit, it will need the life-giving water of God's Spirit. So I abandoned trust either in statistics about religious belonging or in the genuineness and strength of my own faith. I vowed to pray.

Thank you Mom and Dad for also taking that vow.

On Bureaucracy in Eastern Europe

2010-06-30T07:10:00.002-04:00

I've written about this before, and I'm sure I will again, but one of the things most difficult to get used to in Croatia is bureaucracy. Apparently, the situation was similar in Russia when Leo Tolstoy wrote Anna Kerenina. His (autobiographical?) character Levin describes it perfectly:

...All this bustling, going about from place to place, talking to very kind, good people, who well understood the unpleasantness of the petitioner's position but were unable to help him - all this tension, while producing no results, gave Levin a painful feeling similar to that vexing impotence one experiences in dreams when one tries to use physical force. He felt it often, speaking with his good-natured attorney. This attorney did everything possible, it seemed, and strained all his mental powers to get Levin out of the quandry. 'Try this', he said more than once, 'go to this place and that place,'and the attorney would make a whole plan for getting round the fatal principle that was hindering everything. Then he would add at once, 'They'll hold it up anyway, but try it.' And Levin tried, visited, went. Everybody was kind and courteous, but it always turned out that what had been got round re-emerged in the end and again barred the way. In particular it was offensive that Levin simply could not understand with whom he was struggling, who profited from the fact that his case never came to an end. This no one seemed to know; the attorney did not know either. If Levin could have understood it, as he understood why he could not get to the ticket window at the station otherwise than by waiting in line, he would not have felt offended and vexed; but no one could explain to him why the obstacles he encountered in his case existed.

On Spiritual Life

2010-06-29T01:33:00.001-04:00

The spiritual life is first of all a life.

It is not merely something to be known and studied, it is to be lived. Like all life, it grows sick and dies when it is uprooted from its proper element...We live as spiritual [people] when we live as [people] seeking God. If we are to become spiritual, we must remain [human]. And if there were not evidence of this everywhere in theology, the Mystery of the Incarnation itself would be ample proof of it...Jesus lived the ordinary life of the men of His time, in order to sanctify the ordinary lives of men of all time.

If we want to be spiritual, then, let us first of all live our lives. Let us not fear the responsibilities and the inevitable distractions of the work appointed for us by the will of God. Let us embrace reality and thus find ourselves immersed in the life-giving will and wisdom of God which surrounds us everywhere.

- Thomas Merton from Thoughts in Solitude

On Sabbath

2010-06-27T16:25:00.002-04:00

Tom Foley is the CEO of CEO. His job is to mobilize missionaries. Petra and I are part of Christian Educators Outreach and we've found Tom to be a huge encouragement. Recently he shared some thoughts about Sabbath on his blog Kingdom Travelin'. It's worth a few minutes of your time.

On a trip to DC a few weeks ago, I heard a radio program while driving among the NoVa suburbs where our younger daughter works about sleep. The levels of sleep are several, from the light sleep where we are totally aware of our surroundings to deep sleep where we are virtually paralyzed in stillness. It is in this deep sleep that the body heals and has physical restoration. It is in dreams, the expert stated, that our mind goes through a daily ‘de-fraging’ (excuse the computer lingo). It is, therefore, in rest that we are renewed. Hence, Sabbath.

I’ve read a little bit over the last years about Sabbath. The philosophy I’ve developed about Sabbath comes from that. Once a week we are to stop. But God intends for it to be intentional, not random, like the train I was on yesterday slowed down and stopped. It stopped in the hottest part of the day and without explanation. It just stopped. After awhile people began to get restless. They looked out the window and wondered. Soon people began to get off! It was then that I figured that we were near the city. Indeed we were only about a km out of the city very near the outer train station. So I joined the folks who were rats from the stopped ship. And I made the walk into the city. This random stopping, in an uncomfortable situation, without preparation was not the best time for a rest. It was not planned, it was not intentional, it was not among loved ones, but among strangers. This was not Sabbath. But many people treat their “Sabbath” like this. With randomness. I’ll just take what comes! This is not scriptural. In Scripture, we read that God expects detail and panning and that which is supposed to consume one-seventh of our lives deserves thought and planning.

Sabbath, according to one writer should include delight. Intentional time to delight in God for He wishes to delight in His creation and we are made in his image, so we are made for delight. Delight in Him, one another, and in creation. This requires one to understand what we delight in. But this too requires an intentionality that is often missing in our work-a-day random world. What are the ways in which you delight in connecting to God, your loved ones, your own mind and heart? For we are all different and have different ways of going about things. We need to each identify ways of deepening our Sabbath.

In Others' Words

2010-06-27T06:25:00.002-04:00

This week is Quote Week.

I've noticed, as perhaps you have, that good writers usually quote other good writers. In fact, I think you'd be hard pressed to read something that hasn't been influenced by someone else's thinking.

Quote Week is a tribute to authors, thinkers, friends, and family members who have influenced my thinking through their writing. Every day I will publish a post that contains a quote - some short, some long - that has rubbed off on me in some shape or form. It also will have something to do (though not explicitly) with culture shock. For as I mentioned in the introduction, culture shock is not limited to cultural differences between countries.

Let Quote Week begin.

Back and Forth

2010-06-23T07:33:00.001-04:00

"Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Seriously folks, I am more entertained by the shutters blowing in the wind than a 2010 World Cup soccer match. In fact, the creaks and groans that come from my back door offer a greater variety of sound than those vuvuzela horns. Two days into the tournament I am positive that my initial ho-hum reaction to this competition was merited."

I wrote the above a week and a half ago. At the time, I had nothing else to write so I didn't publish it. Then I sat down and watched Chile move the ball against Argentina in a much more exciting way that a European team ever would. Then Serbia tied heavyweight Germany in their match. Then I complained when the American goal didn't count as the decider against Slovenia (the most watched soccer game in ESPN history). Then I read up on the tournament. Suddenly I'm into this thing.

Let me give you a brief history of my soccer knowledge:

- 6 years old; played soccer in Sioux City Iowa. Scored one goal. Retired.
- 23 years old; heard about a guy named Beckham on Sports Radio. Turned off the radio when I realized they were talking about soccer.
- 26 years old and freshly married; The country my wife loved was in the World Cup. Tried to get into it until Croatia was eliminated in the first round.
- 28 years old; living in Croatia and no access to baseball. Declared myself a soccer fan and watched every second of Croatia's involvement in the Euro-Cup. Croatia lost to Turkey on overtime penalty shots in one of the semifinal games. Renounced soccer for the rest of my life.
- 30 years old; Reread introduction to this post.

The funny thing is, I usually stick to my guns. I've been a Cubs fan since '84, a Buffalo Bills fan since '90. I haven't give up on those teams despite their depressing inability to win. I am still a fan. In addition, I will always love baseball and always hate golf. It's as simple as that.

But I can't figure out how I feel about soccer. On one hand, I don't understand how a team (like '08 Croatia) can look like the better team for 112 minutes (2 overtimes), lead the game 1-0 then see the opposition tie in the last second (122nd minute) and win the match on penalty shots. The better team clearly can lose on any given day - even if they've been the superior team for the vast majority of the game! How can a legitimate sport allow this to happen?

On the other hand, I love the idea of watching two completely different styles of play go head-to-head. I'm fascinated by the international story-lines. I'm drawn to watching a potential power-house get beat by a traditionally weaker team.

So where am I today? I'll be watching with interest when America takes on Algeria. Whoever wins is guaranteed a trip to the next round. A draw would make Group C even more interesting. Landon Donovan may be the best American ever to play soccer. Algeria has never made it past the first round. There's plenty to keep me interested.

How will I feel by the time the tournament is over? I may be more disinterested than before.

I know; back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.

Is He worth it?

2010-06-17T12:24:00.000-04:00

"It's only worth what someone's willing to pay for it."

That was the wisdom my father offered me back when I was an avid baseball card collector.

Background: My friend and I would wait breathlessly for the mail towards the beginning of every month when the baseball card price guide was due to arrive. In it, we would find out if our latest acquistions had been worth the investment we had put into them - whether by trade, purchase or luck of finding the card in a pack. And it's not even that we wanted to sell the cards. We just wanted to find out whether we had struck gold and would be able to further build up our collections.

But the quote stayed with me. And it's been useful in understanding a story recorded in the gospel of John:

Background: Jesus is the guest of honor at Lazarus' house. The dinner is going well; Martha's preparing and serving, Lazarus is still taking strips of linen off as he and Jesus converse, when all of a sudden Mary pops open a bottle of perfume.  And it's not a cheap one. My notes say the jar was worth a year's salary. Before you can say "recession!", the contents have been poured on Jesus' feet and the house smells stronger than a french perfume shop in Paris.

But the act is a serious one. It's not often that Jesus is the guest of honor. Do we ever see another time in the gospels when his friends get together to throw him a party? Mary, Martha and Lazarus are celebrating their close friend. Mary goes to an extraordinary effort to honor Jesus.

Enter Judas the Party Pooper. Straight from the Law, Judas recites how God's people are to provide for the poor: "Therefore I command you to be open-handed to those of your people who are poor and needy in your land."

What a nice law-abiding citizen Judas the Just has turned out to be. I'm sure Martha and Lazarus thanked him for the reminder. Jesus also must have turned to Judas, red from embarrassment, and apologized for not stopping the thoughtless woman from committing such a foolish act.

No, of course not. Because rather than being open-handed to the needy, Judas the Thief reached inside that money bag whenever he got the chance and snatched whatever he wanted. Jesus knew that and so did the author of the Gospel of John (Lazarus?).   Judas' concern wasn't the poor. Just the opposite. He looked for money wherever he could find it. Hence the irony of the story and the lesson we're supposed to learn.

Think about this: The amount of money Judas The Traitor will make by betraying Jesus (30 silver coins) is close to a four month salary. Compare that to the yearly wage Mary gave up (300 deneri) by pouring the perfume over Jesus' feet and you've got yourself two completely different reactions to the same guy. It couldn't be any simpler.

Don't get me wrong. We're not talking about the value of salvation or earning grace.  Nowhere in this story does salvation even come up.  Rather, we get a glimpse of how extraordinarily valuable Jesus Christ is to Mary. And we see that through the sacrifice she makes.

Is he worth it? Mary gave up a year's salary, Zacchaeus 4 times what he had cheated, Stephen - his life. But Judas gave nothing - because he had no use for Christ in his life.

Isaac Watts summarized it well in When I Survey the Wondrous Cross:

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
that were an offering far too small;
love so amazing, so divine,
demands my soul, my life, my all.

Don't Rain on My Parade!

2010-06-10T08:41:00.005-04:00

Back when I played in the Marine Corps Band at Parris Island, we participated in a lot of parades. Even since we've moved to Croatia I've played in a few. But Sunday marked the first time in a long time that I've attended a parade as a spectator. I'll tell you, it's a lot more fun to stand in the shade with your kids and take pictures than it is to dress up in a stuffy uniform and march a couple miles.

Orahovačko Prolječe is the annual celebration of our town. All the grade-school students march in the parade, making it a traditional event most everyone attends because they were in the parade when they were a kid. Even some traditional folk groups from other parts of Croatia participate.

The last couple years, it started raining just as the parade started. But this year we had clear skies. Here are some pictures from the 42nd Orahovačko Prolječe parade:

Five Years!

2010-06-04T05:19:00.012-04:00

Today marks five years that Petra and I have been married. Our lives have changed since then, with our move to Croatia and the arrival of two wonderful boys. But I couldn't imagine my life any other way.

Honeymoon, Summer 2005

Summer 2007

Fall 2008

Fall 2009

Spring 2010

Thank you Petra, for 5 amazing years.

Acerphobia - The Fear of Sour Milk

2010-06-01T07:04:00.007-04:00

At the risk of downplaying the trepidation with which some who have been diagnosed with acerphobia pour their milk, I would suggest that many Americans who have experienced the shocking zing of sour milk would admit that the next few times they see the milk out on the counter they exert a phobia-like reflex to get it back in the fridge ASAP. At least I do.

Not so in Eastern Europe. Here in Croatia, most milk cartons, like the ones below, have the words "trajno mlijeko" written somewhere on it. The adjective "trajno" means "lasting" or "permanent". Pretty revolutionary when it comes to describing milk huh?

So what does this mean? It means that when you go to the grocery store all of the milk is unrefrigerated. It also means that once you buy the milk, it has a long shelf life. The stamp on the milk I opened this morning indicated that it would be just as good on October 12th as it is on June 1st. And that's still outside the fridge.

Thirdly, it means that even after you open it, the milk won't go sour for many hours, possibly even days - again, without being refrigerated.

Don't ask me how or why this is. I have no idea.

But I do know that this phobia is directly related to the one Eastern Europeans have. People don't drink their drinks cold here. Sodas, juices, water, etc. etc. generally remain outside of the refrigerator all the time. Ice is not used. Room temperature is the recommended warmth to drink your drinks by doctors and grandmas alike. So it's no surprise that milk comes unrefrigerated and remains unrefrigerated - to accomodate this mindset.

How do I drink my milk? Cold. Do I put it back in the fridge afterwards? Yes. Will I continue? Yes.

I am an American with Acerphobia.

Cryophobia - The Fear of Cold

2010-05-31T05:32:00.009-04:00

It was one of my first visits to the Adriatic Coast in the summer of '07. It happened near a city called Zadar, but this story could have happened anywhere in Croatia - anywhere in the Balkans for that matter. I ordered a drink at a recommended pizzeria. It was a friendly place - one of those restaurants where the waiter will have a conversation with you and you realize he's not doing it just to get a bettter tip. And you know when you've had one of those days when the first thing you want to do when you sit down is have an ice-cold drink? It was one of those days.

So when the waiter brought a tiny glass of water with no ice, I got hotter than I already was. "Can we ask this guy for some ice?" I tried to ask my wife cooly. Petra laughed and told the guy I was a foreigner and I like ice. He smiled, turned and hurried to the kitchen, returning quickly with an ice-cube.

One measly stinkin' piece of ice.

"I can handle one ice-cube", the waiter explained to us after we asked him for more ice, "but after two I'll have a sore throat for weeks."

And that's how it went down. I'm not exaggerating.

Let me clinch it with another example from a guy who grew up in Bosnia but spent a lot of time in the States. His wife told us about how they went to a seven-eleven together in Florida one time and got one of those huge drinks they sell for 99 cents. When he took his first gulp of the ice-filled drink, he put his head back, let the cold fluid sit in his mouth to warm it up, and only then dared to allow the beverage to trickle down his throat.

You think I'm making this up? I'm not. But I will say this; the fear of ice and cold things that exists here, is matched by a fear we Americans obsess over. More on that next time.

Ian The Smiler

2010-05-28T08:14:00.001-04:00

I've said it before, and I'll say it again; parents can learn a lot from their kids.

Ian is a smiler. He's had a bad cough for the last two weeks, and the doctor isn't sure why the anti-biotics haven't worked. But he's always ready to give a smile - even after a coughing fit.

And when, as a parent, I see those smiles, it makes me want to pass along the joy.

Thank you Ian, for every one of your smiles.

A Common (and Tasty) Denominator

2010-05-26T06:02:00.004-04:00

We're always so quick to point out the differences aren't we? America is big, Croatia small. Europe is old, America new. The list could go on and on.

But when my friend Laci and his family came to visit the other day he pointed out one of the similarities between the two cultures:

Laci is Hungarian and I am American. But the process of preparing the grill, cooking the meat, and enjoying a conversation while doing so is not so foreign to either of us - even in a country neither one of us grew up in - Croatia.

In fact, the table often seems to be a symbol of unity, a place where relationships grow. Go back to Jesus and Zacchaeus. The fact that Jesus wanted to have lunch in the tax collector's house was unheard of. But it was there, at Zacchaeus's table, where repentance took place and a life was changed.

___________________________________________

I lost the importance of a shared meal during college. But since we've moved to Croatia and had kids, I've begun to get back to a value I grew up with - eating and enjoying a meal together with family (and often) friends.

In a place where there are lots of differences, the dinner table is often the place where we find common ground. Who are you sharing your next meal with?

Gone Fishing

2010-05-17T16:52:00.004-04:00

While I haven't been gone fishing during the last few weeks, and my absence has been for good reason, I feel I owe my regular readers something. But yet, I will be gone doing something that is relaxing, enjoyable and vacationish - spending time with my brother and sister-in-law on the Adriatic Coast for the next 4 days while they visit. It is their first visit to Europe after all.

So if you still frequent the Culture Shock Weblog - Thank you! Let me recommend a past post that takes a look at some of the beauty of Croatia.

For Sale

2010-05-04T06:40:00.000-04:00

Who needs a sign when you have black spray paint?

Miracles

2010-04-27T06:11:00.002-04:00

"The most incredible thing about miracles is that they happen" G.K. Chesterton

Fun With Croatian

2010-04-20T15:41:00.010-04:00

I'm not one of those people who love learning languages. If you do, more power to you. For me, it's honestly been the toughest thing about moving to Croatia.

There are, however, little nuggets of fun at times. Like when you discover that you can say something in Croatian that English doesn't have a word for. Or when you can do funny little word plays that most people wouldn't appreciate. Or when you find phrases you would never use in English when translated literally. Here are three examples:

3. Moja Žena (My woman). I just couldn't use this phrase to refer to my wife for the first two years I lived here. ("Hi! Would you like to meet my woman?) Instead I would say moja supruga - which is formal and awkward and means "my spouse who is female". All the married men I know refer to their wife as moja žena and now I do too. By the way, doesn't it seem a little strange that if a husband says "my woman" (in English) it means they're incredibly chauvinist, but if a wife says "that's my man" it means she's with a hunk with a great sense of humor and good with kids? Just saying.

2. Bez veze (Without connection): I love this one. When you stub your toe, do you say "WITHOUT CONNECTION!"? Croatians who don't swear do. Which leads me to swearing. As a person who doesn't swear I was presented with the challenging question of "Do I learn the Croatian swears or not?" The argument went as follows: If I know the curse words, when I hear a teenager yell or read the grafiti on a building then I'll know not to repeat it. My wife (woman?) made a good point on that one: "Just don't repeat anything you hear a teenager say or read on a wall." On the other hand, if I don't know the swears then when I'm scanning my brain for the correct word to use, a swear word won't accidently surface and slip out of my mouth. Either way, Bez Veze! will have to be my outburst of choice.

1. Ležeći policajac (A policeman who is lying down): You'd never guess it - this is the Croatian term for "speedbump". Maybe this picture will help you go over speedbumps more slowly...or perhaps more quickly?

This has been fun with Croatian. Until next time...

My Turn

2010-04-15T06:26:00.002-04:00

I just turned 3 months old.

And I know you probably think I'm too young to blog. But Daddy's posts are getting way too long. And my brother? There's nothing he likes more than playing outside these days. Yesterday he rolled himself down the hill and fell face-first into a mud puddle.

I loved watching the various reactions:

As for me? I'm happy to just sit here.

Ian - the content younger brother

Acting the Part

2010-04-14T08:26:00.004-04:00

After thinking about it, Croatian isn't the first second language I've tried to learn. And I'm not referring to the German course I took in college. No, it was in the summer of 1998 - the same year 2 phonies brought baseball back to the fore and I was stuck in U.S. Marine Corps boot camp at Parris Island South Carolina.

Four men with Smokey Bear "covers" began pounding new values into my life. One was the importance of a rifle. Short of sleeping with it, I learned that it was my best friend. (We've since parted ways.) Another was physical toughness and endurance. I never won any of the pugil stick fights, but at least I could run. The third was learning a new language.

Every sentence began and ended with "sir". I had been reduced to a "recruit" at best, while the people in charge of me had at least 4 words that came before their name: "Drill Instructor Staff Sargeant so and so".
Beds were "racks". Heads were "grapes". Floors were "decks". People outside our elite club were "civilians". I only had 3 months to learn the new Marine language.

And learn it I did. When I got home, not even my family or the baseball playoffs could loosen my grip on my new set of values. Don Zimmer was a "nasty civilian" because he had put on a bit too much weight and I would soon have to educate my brother in the skill of eating breakfast in under one minute or he would have no hope of becoming like me one day.

I was assigned to recruiters assistance soon after completing boot camp. My duty was to help the recruiter. Because I was on the lowest possible rung of the ladder, I had to do anything he told me to do. All of a sudden the nice guy who promised to do whatever he could to get me in to the Corps was giving me "missions" that didn't make any sense.

On the first day however, my recruiter wasn't there. There was another Marine (of even higher rank) who saw me walk in and started giving me orders. One of the things he told me was even though I was on time, I was to be early the next day. I responded with "Sir, yes sir". He continued by explaining that I would no longer need to use "sir" as a prefix and suffix. "Sir, yes, sir!" I exclaimed. It was only after the conversation ended that I realized my mistake.

Sure I knew the language, but I had been taught to respond in a way that was less than genuine. In fact, I had been taught to answer without thinking. I wasn't expressing myself. The military ought to be proud of themselves. They're able to teach new behaviors, a new language, even a new way of life. But in only 3 months it's close to impossible to make those behaviors genuine if they weren't part of your daily life before boot camp.
______________________________________________

The biggest reason I'm struggling with Croatian is that I have a hard time acting. If I sit down for coffee with a friend, I want to get to know them. How can I be genuine when the focus is on me creating a sentence with correct grammar, pronunciation and up-to-date vocabulary that fits the context of the conversation? I can't. So I resort to English - because that's how I know how to express myself genuinely.

Or take prayer for example. As a proper Evangelical, I grew up praying from the heart. That certainly didn't mean we couldn't pray the Lord's Prayer or occassionally read prayers from a book, but still I was encouraged to pray with my own words expressing my own gratitude, needs and praise. How can I pray in a languae that I hardly know? How can I communicate with God in less than genunine way?

Practice. The more I acted like a Marine, the more I became a Marine (for better or worse). The more I act like I speak Croatian fluently the closer I come to speaking the language. It's not an overnight change. It's going to take more than 3 months - more than 3 years for crying out loud! But eventually I will speak Croatian fluently and genuinely.

In the meantime, Croatian friends, thank you for helping me become a better actor.

How is your Vision?

2010-04-09T03:10:00.013-04:00

This was taken on Easter as I was trying out the timer setting on my new camera. The camera has an auto focus, but it doesn't necessarily focus on what you want it to...automatically.

I've been digesting a "must read" for Christians who are concerned about ministry and church leadership called Let My People Grow. In it, Michael Harper has this to say about clearer thinking:

The story of Peter walking on water is familiar to us. In Matthew 14:31 Jesus said to Peter 'Oh man of little faith, why did you doubt?' The Greek word for doubt (distazo) is an interesting one. The commonly held view of this story is that Peter looked away from Jesus and saw the waves. But the use of this verb suggests something different. The word literally means 'standing and looking where two ways come together'. The truth is that Peter looked first at Jesus, then at Jesus and the waves simultaneously.

Peter was looking at two opposite things at the same time. Double vision instantly confused him, causing him to sink.

When I take a picture, I have to decide on what I'm trying to capture. Enoh has proven to be one of my favorite targets, but if I want a clear picture of him I can't focus on the background. On the other hand if I want a shot of the Orahovica mountains, I have to change my focus. If I try to split the difference, I'll have a completely blurry picture.

Peter's initial decision to get out of the boat just so he could be part of what Jesus was doing was incredibly focused. But as soon as the waves came, he lost it.

How is your vision?

Sharing the Road

2010-04-02T06:56:00.006-04:00

Like many of the other potential driving hazards I've experienced in Croatia, this was one that was never covered in my American drivers education class:

Let me reiterate: On Croatian roads, the drivers of normal everyday cars are at the bottom of the totem pole. As we approached this scene, there was no sense of urgency on the part of the shepherds to get their sheep off the street. In fact, the road was probably the only place for them. The cars had to go around the sheep, just like they have to go around tractors, wheelchairs, bicyclists, kids, horses, carriages, parked cars or anything else in the middle of the road.

Of course, in America, drivers would try to avoid hitting any of these things too. But the difference is that here the road is for everyone. Anyone and anything is welcome on Croatian byways, whether it's moving (sheep), or not moving (parked cars). Our job as drivers is to accomodate everyone else's desire to use the road in the way they please.

Am I complaining? No. I appreciate the fact that in Croatia I have the opportunity to share the road with a diversity of travelers. But it's still shocking at times.

The Only Redeeming Quality is Imperfection

2010-03-16T05:59:00.012-04:00

There is more than one thing my wife and I disagree about, but one of them is pillows. She likes them - I hate them. It's as simple as that. For Petra, every good couch must have at least 5 pillows. For me, every pillow that's on the couch decreases the value by 1 notch. But my wife uses the couch more, so she gets her way. And I'm fine with that.

But when I began experimenting with my new camera the other day, the pillow caught my eye. I realized that it was the flaw in the pillow that attracted me to it. Though if it were my choice I'd get rid of the pillows altogether, this particular cushion had a redeeming quality - its imperfection.

It reminded me of the passage that's recorded in both Matthew and Mark where Jesus has compassion on the crowd because they were like "sheep without a shepherd". He didn't take notice because they were outstanding people - in fact it was just the opposite. The religious elite were constantly being rebuked by Jesus. But it was towards the poor, the needy, the imperfections of society that Jesus showed compassion.

And those are the people who are redeemable.

I'm at my worst when I think highly of myself. But the times that I am reminded of my need for a Savior are when I am most satisfied. My awareness of my imperfections are what allows me to be redeemed. Thank God He is sufficient to cover my flaws with His perfection.

The Sin of Sodom

2010-03-01T17:14:00.004-05:00

One of my professors pointed this verse out to me a couple years ago: "Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor or the needy" - Ezekiel 16:49. Talk about a rebuttal to the popular belief that promiscuity and homosexuality were the primary reasons for God's wrath on Sodom.

And it's not like we need to take tweezers to the Bible and pluck out one verse to back our claim that Christians should be concerned about the least of these. As Jim Wallis points out, a Bible that does not care for the needy is a Bible with lots of holes.

But it sure is nice to be reminded of the facts that 1. followers of Christ should lead the charge to feed the hungry, clothe the naked and care for the widow, and 2. that more and more of them are.

The New York Times just ran this piece the other day showing that "a growing number of conservative Christians are explicitly and self-critically acknowledging that to be “pro-life” must mean more than opposing abortion". The fact that Evangelicals generally have become more socially conscious in the last decade is something Wallis called for and predicted in God's Politics.

While the change should be celebrated, it's no time to stop, lest we be tempted to look back.

The Glory of God

2010-02-17T03:52:00.005-05:00

The heavens declare the glory of God, the skies proclaim the work of His hands. Psalm 19:1

The really wonderful moments of joy in this world are not the moments of self-satisfaction, but self-forgetfulness. Standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon and contemplating your own greatness is patholgical. At such moments we are made for a magnificent joy that comes from outside ourselves. And each of these rare and precious moments in life - beside the Canyon, before the Alps, under the stars - is an echo of a far greater excellence - namely, the glory of God. (John Piper, Don't Waste Your Life)

Maškare

2010-02-12T16:31:00.002-05:00

We're in the middle of Maškare season in Croatia. It's like Carnival in Brazil and is typically celebrated by countries that are predominantly Catholic. In small town Croatia it looks more like trick-or-treating than anything else. You'd have to go to one of the bigger cities like Rijeka to attend a parade and enjoy the festivities.

So we were a little taken aback when we heard this band playing down the street. The middle of a snowstorm in February doesn't seem like the most celebratory time, but give these guys credit (and candy) they endured the weather in order to keep the tradition. Take a look:

Note: I have no control over what YouTube suggests after the clip finishes.

A Lesson in Simplicity

2010-02-09T07:27:00.002-05:00

A new acquaintance recently volunteered his time and expertise to help our church complete our building project. In meeting and spending time with him he gave me a lesson in simplicity. Here are a few ways in which he did so:

5. He doesn't drink coffee - he hates the feeling he has when he needs it and can't get it.

4. During his 3 week visit to Orahovica, he didn't drive despite the fact that his car was parked out front the whole time.

3. From what I could tell, he brought 2 outfits: 1 for work and 1 for the rest of the time including church services.

2. He gave up the opportunity to earn a paycheck for the last 3 weeks so he could help us complete our building project.

1. He didn't bring a computer, didn't have access to a television and spent his evenings either chatting (in person) with friends or praying and reading the Word. "It's been one of the most refreshing times of my life" he told me last night.

Though we have a simpler life in Croatia than I believe we would in America, I've been coming to the conclusion that there are still many ways I can simplify. I appreciate my friend's example in how to do so.

Another resource I've found to be helpful is Paul Borthwick's Simplify. Before reading the book, he advises you to "ask yourself before you buy it lest a book on simplifying your life be added to the cluttered stack of to-be-read literature you already own".

Richard Bach said: "The simplest things are often the truest". My experience has been that the simplest lives are often the truest. Rather convicting for someone who desires to live Truthfully.

Why Soccer Will Never Be Popular in America

2010-02-02T05:22:00.002-05:00

Croatia, like most of the world, is crazy about soccer. These were taken in 2008 during the Euro Cup:

No Croatia didn't win the tournament, but they did win one game - which was plenty enough to celebrate.

And the streets are where the party is. This group brought the bar-stools from the bar to the middle of the road.

Isn't it true that sports say a lot about culture?

I have a theory that soccer can never and will never become any more popular in the States than it currently is. Certainly the owners of the LA Galaxy who paid big bucks for David Beckham to come over a few years ago were putting money on the fact that it would.

But it won't. Let me tell you why.

Commercials. Have you ever seen a soccer match? There are no time-outs. No end of innings. No kickoffs. No quarter changes. Other than halftime, the clock keeps on running and running and running.

Which means if you need a bathroom break, a beverage or a BLT you're out of luck. If you want to make popcorn or check the internet you'll miss part of the match and possibly the only goal that will be scored.

And for a culture where ADD is as common as HDTV that just doesn't work for us. We are dependent on calls to the bullpen. We count on the two minute warning. We need Phil Jackson to call a timeout, because we need one too!

But soccer does not afford us such luxury. They run and run and run for 90 minutes. Don't get me wrong, that kind of endurance beats baseball, American football and even basketball. But it also tops the average viewer's ability to sit still for two 45 minute halves.

Why do you think the Super Bowl is one of America's biggest holidays? Because of what happens before during and after the game. Pregame shows, Budweiser ads, halftime shows, wardrobe malfunctions, Dorito ads and postgame shows are all diversions that define the event more than the event itself.

You just can't do that with soccer. It's as simple as that. Sure you can celebrate in the streets like many soccer fans do after the match. But for those fans, the game is the event. Nothing interrupts a good soccer match.

As America prepares for the Super Bowl and the over-consumption that accompanies it, the simplicity of soccer is rather shocking. Perhaps even appealing.

The New Guy

2010-01-28T18:43:00.002-05:00

We have a visitor.

No one's told me how long he's staying, but he seems to be making himself pretty comfortable.

He sleeps.

He cries

He makes faces.

And after he eats he does leg exercises.

When he first got here I had a lot of energy.

But when I calmed down we got to hang out together.

His head is even softer than daddy's!

Mommy and Daddy keep on saying "isn't it great how gentle he is? But how long will it last?"

I love him as a brother already. Can he stay?

- Enoh, the proud brother.

Becoming Like A Child

2010-01-26T09:07:00.008-05:00

As our son Enoh becomes more aware, more communicative and therefore more prone to showing emotion, I'm beginning to realize just how delightful the smiles and laughter are and how downright scary the tantrums can be.

Why is this?

Because children haven't learned how to mask their emotions yet. They haven't discovered the art of manipulating their words and actions to portray what they want other people to think of them. Therefore their emotions are true and genuine - however pleasant or unpleasant it may be at the time.

Dallas Willard has a great quote about this in The Divine Conspiracy:

Interestingly “growing up” is largely a matter of learning to hide our spirit behind our face, eyes and language so that we can evade and manage others to achieve what we want and avoid what we fear. By contrast, the child’s face is constantly an epiphany because it doesn’t yet know how to do this. It cannot manage its face. This is also true of adults in moments of great feeling – which is one reason why feeling is both greatly treasured and greatly feared.

Those who have attained considerable spiritual stature are frequently noted for their “childlikeness”. What this really means is that they do not use their face and body to hide their spiritual reality. In their body they are genuinely present to those around them. That is a great spiritual attainment or gift.

As a father, I'm beginning to understand how gratifying genuine joy is from my sons. Funny how it often takes children to teach the most profound lessons.

"In the Loving Arms of Jesus"

2010-01-24T16:00:00.005-05:00

Our hearts grieve today over the passing of Josiah Nathaniel Wilson - the son of our dear friends Milo and Erin.

The Wilsons updated their blog on Sunday afternoon with this feed: "Thank You for your prayers. Josiah's heart is now whole. He is in the loving arms of Jesus. Truly, a heart that holds on."

Please continue to pray for the Wilson family.

One Size Fits All

2010-01-23T18:21:00.004-05:00

You may be surprised the by the similarities between Eastern Europe and America. Like the fact that both cultures work on a "one size fits all" system . The only difference is that in America we can adjust the size of the product to our liking. In Eastern Europe the individual must adapt to the size of the item.

Take sinks for example. In America, you have all kinds of different sink sizes to choose from. The one in Petra's parent's house in the States was big enough to bathe Enoh in when he was 4 months old last Christmas. (The American ingenuity that produced a bathtub for the sink is a topic for another post.)

Whereas the one in our house in Croatia is not big enough to bathe 1 week old Ian. (The Croatian disbelief that you would even think about bathing your child in a sink is a topic for another post.) So Ian took his first bath on the kitchen table instead.

Milk is another example. The choice of skim, 2% or whole exists in both cultures, but the size of the typical containter is significantly smaller - 1 gallon to 1 liter.

And then there are cars. When we visited Munich, Germany a couple years ago we encountered this scene:

The Smart Car was made in France while of course the Hummer is an American invention. Naturally, many American roads can accomodate the Hummer. Most Balkan byways cannot.

Here are a few additional things that are generally smaller in Eastern Europe:

- men's jeans

- bathrooms

- ambitions

- drinks

- swimwear

Finally, as noted earlier, I am smaller in Croatia than in America. A couple years ago I lost 20 pounds after moving to Croatia. In America you eat according to your appetite and find clothes that fit your waistline. In Croatia, you adjust to the size of the typical meal, and normal clothing. One size fits all.

Why Did You Name Your Son That?

2010-01-19T06:33:00.004-05:00

If Ian has one foot in America and the other in Croatia you wouldn't know it by his name.

Petra and I set a deadline of Christmas day 2009 for deciding on a boy name if indeed baby Bohall #2 was a boy (we already had a girl name picked). As the day of reckoning approached I was reading Enoh the following book:

In the Olivia series - which we highly recommend - the heroine of the story has a brother named Ian. After going through the predetermined formula of "look up name, google name and let name sit in our heads" we decided it might be a good fit. We put it on our top 10 list on the fridge and watched it move up towards the number 1 spot almost overnight.

But what middle name would go well with Ian?

Petra already had a name she wanted to use. The idea came from The Kite Runner:

Though less than prominant, Rahim is one of Petra's favorite characters in the novel. It is well worth your time to read the book and find out why.

But the characters had much less to do with deciding on Ian Rahim than the meaning did.

Ian is Celtic (or Scottish) and means "God is gracious". We see our son as both a representation of God's gift of grace and a blessing given to us without merit. Ian is a living reminder that God has been and continues to be gracious to us.

Rahim is originally Persian (or Arabic) and means "compassionate". It is our prayer that Ian will personify this quality in his own life. In addition, we realize that it's God's grace that prompts true Compassion.

Though the intro to the previous post was painfully honest (and decidedly premature), we couldn't be more excited with the birth of Ian. Childbirth - and the pain that accompanies it - is a profound reminder of how God's purposes are indeed accomplished in a fallen world. Easy for a guy to say right?

Some pictures of Ian at home:

Meet Our Son Ian Rahim

2010-01-15T16:35:00.004-05:00

“I know we’ve talked about having more than two kids, but at this point the only way I’d be ready to have a third child is if someone offers to be a surrogate mother.”

Those were my wife’s words a few minutes after giving birth to Ian Rahim at 1:40 on Wednesday afternoon. No, Petra didn’t have 59 hours of regular contractions like she did with Enoh, but the last two hours of labor were definitely more difficult for her this time around. Perhaps the more than two pound difference between Ian and Enoh had something to do with it.

Ian means “God is gracious” and Rahim means “compassionate”. The nurse who recorded all the information after his birth confirmed the fact that they are both strange names and then asked “what’s your first son’s name?” Needless to say, she won’t be coming to us for advice as to what she should name her children. More on the name in a later post.

We are very blessed to have two healthy sons. Enoh, was very hyper and seemed excited to meet his new brother.

Petra and Ian will spend one more night in the hospital. If everything looks good on Saturday afternoon, they will be released. We are grateful for everyone who included us in their thoughts and prayers.

The New President of Croatia

2010-01-12T12:41:00.001-05:00

To an American, the chant sounded like “evil, evil, evil”. But to the majority of Croatian voters, it was music to their ears.

Ivo Josipović – the newly elected Croatian President - smiled as his supporters chanted his name after the official election results came in late Sunday night. The scene looked much like any American campaign celebration, though smaller and less bombastic. Josipović’s demeanor also lacked the polish most American politicians have.

Perhaps that’s for the better. President elect Josipović is a scholar with two PhDs at opposite ends of the spectrum – classical music composition and law. His aspirations to hold a high position (but not the highest) in the Croatian government came about only recently. Unlike many Balkan leaders, his background is clean. His goal as President is to “inspire decisiveness, optimism and civic courage of Croatian people to change our society and make it a better one.''

Certainly corruption will not be erased in Croatia immediately, but the election of Ivo Josipović is a step in the right direction. For an excellent article in the New York Times, go here.

Off The Cuff Links

2010-01-11T13:44:00.003-05:00

Though there are exceptions, this weblog focuses on three main things: culture, family/friends and faith. Let me recommend three related blogs well worth your time.

Culture: The Expat Blog is a "living abroad website, by expats, for expats". If you're living in a foreign country or planning on living in a foreign country this site offers plenty of information you'll be interested in.

Faith: The Faith and Theology blog continues to be one of my favorite sites to visit. Benjamin Myers, an Australian scholar regularly updates this "forum for conversations about theology, books and culture".

Family/Friends: The Wilson Heart chronicles the story of a wonderful family currently dealing "with the implications of having a child with a serious heart defect". Join the growing community of friends who support the Wilsons in a variety of ways.

Best CD of 2009: Stockholm Syndrome

2010-01-10T17:10:00.003-05:00

There are lots of reasons not to review a CD on this blog.  Rather than wasting time with an explanation, let me summarize the best CD of 2009: Shocking.

This CD is full of controversy. It's also packed with musicality and truth. We're talking art. Beauty. So it's no surprise that my favorite CD of 2009 comes from a short bald headed man sporting a Five O' Clock on the cover of his latest.

Derek Webb says that “Christian art coming out of the church today deals in the most spiritual 2% of life and culture. And yet the Bible gives us a framework and a language to deal with all 100% of stuff that we find we come up against in life.” If you think about it, you’d realize he’s right on. On Stockholm Syndrome Webb endeavors to fill in some of the gaps – if you consider this Christian art. And I do. Just not the way we’ve ever seen it before. That’s the point.

After a couple listens, I felt like Webb was drawing black lines with a gray crayon. His message is strong, but he uses a whole bunch of lyrical and musical techniques to deliver. It’s kind of like eating chicken noodle broth with a fork. It takes repeat after repeat to be satisfied.  But each bite is so musically tasty, you're more than happy to oblige.

Webb begins his vocals (after a short musical intro) with Black Eye. It's an appropriate opening as there's no way to get through it unscathed. From computer generated music, to what sounds like an electric kazoo the instrumentals keep you on your toes from start to finish (which could be said about the whole record). Add to that the playful chorus when Webb sings of a horrifying reaction towards abuse called Stockholm Syndrome. If you're not sure what parallel he's drawing, keep listening - this is just the beginning.

In Freddie Please he covers his controversial lyrics in a 50’s style ballad. That’s what makes the message so poignant. “The stone’s been rolled away, but you’re picketing my grave for loving the things you hate. Then why do you seek the living among the dead?” The song is addressed to Fred Phelps, but could certainly be listened to as an open letter.

The Spirit vs. The Kick Drum pokes fun at how many of us approach the Trinity. Lyrically simple but full of truth, Webb picks the perfect swing groove to accompany a caricature of the common evangelical churchgoer. Many won’t like it. But Webb sings like he doesn’t care.

If you’re hoping Webb left his politics on Mockingbird, you’ll be disappointed. The State looks at our loyalty to America over Christ. Without a break, DW goes into The Proverbial Gun: “Now I can buy the proverbial gun and shoot the proverbial child. My uncle looks me in the eye and speaks of freedom”. If it’s an uncomfortable listen Webb has accomplished his goal.

Musically Derek Webb sounds as if he's been playing on the jungle-gym of electronic music his whole life. There's nothing contrived or overdone about this album.  He also offers some of the most melodic moments (albeit brief) and polished vocals of his career. Most profound is the way the musical irony lends itself so perfectly to Webb's often sharp message.

Every song is unique, each track provocative in its own right. And as far as I’m concerned, it’s about time. If you’re looking for feel good religious or worship music you won’t find that here. Perhaps those genres have their place. But when that space becomes overcrowded and stuffy you're ready for some fresh air. That’s what Derek Webb offers – if you’re ready to leave your comfort zone.

For a free download of Webb's What Matters More go here. Or go here to see the video.

Election Silence

2010-01-09T06:31:00.003-05:00

On Sunday, Croatia will vote for their third president since their independence 20 years ago. I’ve learned a few things about Croatian politics, but one of the things I appreciate most is what happens the day before citizens hit the booths on Sunday. Today is called the day of “election silence”. Neither candidate will speak publicly, debate or campaign at all. Laws demand that we don’t hear anything from them for 24 hours before voting begins.

A day of silence from the voices of the candidates gives us the perfect opportunity to pray for His will to be done "on earth as it is in heaven". Please pray for the future President of Croatia.

A Whole Year To Celebrate

2010-01-07T07:12:00.003-05:00

As I observed several celebrating the New Year in their 2010 glasses I began thinking about how silly it seemed. These people will probably never again wear 2010 on their face – even though there are 364 more days to it. 2010 was so...yesterday. In a culture that so often over-celebrates beginnings and undervalues commitment and accomplishment perhaps it shouldn’t seem so ironic.

Not that we shouldn’t celebrate the coming of a New Year. On the contrary. 2010 will be an exciting year for many us. Our family is no exception as we expect a baby, a 30^th birthday and…well lots of unknowns. There will be a lot to savor in 2010 – all 12 months of it.

So at the beginning of this year, like many other years, I am examining the various activities that consume my life. Why do I do this? What’s the point of that? Indeed, some of my readers (and others who don't read) may wonder why I blog. In my introduction a year and a half ago I listed several reasons why I began in the first place. Here are the top 5 reasons I will continue in 2010:

5. The longer I live in Croatia, it seems, the more cultural differences I notice. The more I take in, the more there is to process. Blogging is one of the best ways I’ve found to be able to do that.

4. Various family members and friends read regularly. Their interest and encouragement is the fuel that keeps this blog from sputtering out. If no one read, I wouldn’t post. It’s as simple as that.

3. I prefer, if possible, to think, rethink and edit before I speak. Blogging allows me go through that process without wasting your time.

2. This blog has already become an archive. My arch-rival at the beginning of my blogging days has become a supporter simply because of the fact that it has chronicled issues and events that have affected our lives. If my wife has converted, there’s no turning back now.

1. I’ve found writing to be useful in so many areas of my life. It has helped organize my thoughts, clarify my vision and even solidify my faith. As Richard Foster notes, writing is a spiritual discipline. Writing has also been a way for me to remember more colorfully the events that have influenced who I am. With so many benefits, this is just the beginning.

May 2010 bring the opportunity to learn, grow and take risks. May it also afford us the chance to reflect on and enjoy how those experiences changed our lives. Happy 2010!

Jeremy – who is still wearing his 2010 glasses

Who Is God?

2009-12-30T16:49:00.004-05:00

Do you ever look back at one period of your life and still blush as you recall something you said? I remember sitting in Sunday School as a 15 years old teenager. Feeling very comfortable in my surroundings and confident with my Biblical knowledge I challenged our teacher: "Is there anything you can teach me about the Bible that I don't already know?"

Fourteen years later I'm the one being challenged. Recently, I've taken an interest in several books written by very different authors from different perspectives. They share one focus though - that we, as Christians must continue our search for who God is.

The Challenge of Jesus by N.T. Wright is a quest for the historical Jesus. Wright shivers at the notion that we - whether Roman Catholic, Protestant, Eastern Orthodox, or Evangelical - know exactly who Jesus was.

I believe...that each generation has to wrestle afresh with the question of Jesus, not least its Biblical roots if it is to be truly the church at all - not that we should engage in abstrat dogmatics to the detriment of our engagement with the world, but that we should discover more and more of who Jesus was and is precisely in order to be equipped to engage with the world he came to save. And this is a task for the whole church especially those appointed to leadership and teaching roles within it.

Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes was a birthday gift from my dad last year. I cracked it open 10 months later and have found it to be thought provoking and very helpful. Kenneth E. Bailey is a theologian who spent the better part of his life teaching in the Middle East. His goal is to "help the reader...better understand the mind of Christ, and the mind of the Gospel author/editors as the recorded and interpreted the traditions available to them".

Finally, a book I borrowed from a friend, God is Not... challenges our (mis?)conceptions of who God is. The primary goal of the book is to "suggest that it is harder to think and speak of God than people normally imagine".

During the season when tradition and religion often sneak their way into faith, I've found it refreshing to be challenged by the mystery of who God is.