Culture Shock

After a holiday hiatus, I have to get back in the blogging game.  And there's no better way to do so than to rely heavily on one of my favorite Op Ed columnists - David Brooks .  In his latest piece he reviews a book called "All Things Shining".  He highlights several parts of the book, but let me cut to the chase.  Brooks paraphrases authors Hubert Dreyfus of Berkeley and Sean Dorrance Kelly of Harvard when he says this: The most real things in life well up and take us over. They call this experience “whooshing up.” We get whooshed up at a sports arena, at a political rally or even at magical moments while woodworking or walking through nature. He then goes on to dismiss some of the conclusions these two philosophers come to, but zeroes in on something that grabbed my attention: We have official stories we tell about our culture: each individual is the captain of his own ship; we are all children of God. But in practice, willy-nilly, the way we actually...

Turning two - and having a child that turns two - can be shocking.  Although I've done the former, I can do a better job of reporting on the latter.  Let me give you some adjectives to describe the culture shock that has accompanied Enoh's transition into the twos. 1. Terrible .  Don't stop here!  It's not that bad.  But sometimes you just have those instances, like the one below, where you wonder what got into your kid.  For those of you who received our Christmas card this year, this was the scene 10 minutes before the family picture was taken.   Yep, it can be terrible, but those moments only last for a...moment.  2. Turbulent.   This is the one my wife prefers to terrible.  And I get it.  The life of a parent of a two-year-old is a plane ride over the Icelandic volcano - up, down and all around.  You just never know what response you'll get to a "no" or which parent, grandparent, or stranger they'll prefer over yo...

As we sat down on the pew last Sunday, our 2 year-old son Enoh looked up at the projector screen hanging from the ceiling in front of the pipe organ and said in a manner that would make any Christian dad proud: "Iwant...Isus (Jesus)!"  Enoh begins at least half of his sentences this way whether the object is in Croatian or English: "Iwant...gamma" (grandma), or "Iwant..meko" (mlijeko, or milk).  (We are working on "please") What was it about this church service that made him say he wanted Jesus?  Did he associate the PowerPoint on a large screen (like many congregants would these days) with church?  Did he connect the pipe organ (like many congregants in the past) with religion?  I honestly don't know for sure. But I don't think so.  I think it started with the fact that there were a bunch of people in the room.  I think the kind people who gave us a hug and asked how we're doing gave him another clue.  I think standing, ...

Like the Running of the Bulls in Spain, Carnival in Brazil and Oktoberfest in Germany, Black Friday has become a defining cultural event in America.  So, it was my duty as a culture shock weblogger to observe Black Friday firsthand. After waking up at 3:30 a.m., my wife, my brother and I drove to the closest collection of consumer attractions called (appropriate for this day) The Shoppes at Blackstone Valley in Millbury Massachusetts.  As we approached the shopping center we thought we must have had it all wrong.  "Wow, this isn't bad!  There's hardly anyone else going to the stores" I mentioned as we drove towards the mall.  We soon realized why.  The parking lot was already completely full and everyone and their brother was in line waiting for the store to open at 4 am.  But it didn't seem like four o' clock in the morning.  Once inside, the store hummed with excitement.  Televisions, most almost as big as their soo...

They say it was my "first Thanksgiving!"    I met some people who I've only seen on a computer before. They played with me.   And I played with them.  They also played with my brother.  While all that was going on my mama and oma cooked.   And stuffed.   And cooked some more.  We ate and were satisfied.   What does Thanksgiving mean to me? I'm not sure I can put it into words.  But I do my best to express it. I am grateful for all of the Bohalls who made my first Thanksgiving so amazing!

Yes.  When we visit the States, I tend to have more time to read for pleasure than I do in Croatia.  Two years ago I spent all of that time devouring Anna Kerenina .  This time I'll invest my reading energy into a variety of books and authors.  Here's the latest: The Unlikely Disciple is a fun read.  The rookie author of this book - Kevin Roose - decided to take a semester off from Brown University and attend Liberty University while covertly assembling the thoughts contained in this book back in 2007.  He's not an Evangelical Christian nor had he ever been immersed in Evangelical culture before his transfer. So it's a book about culture shock.  Roose's political views are drastically different than those of the conservative Evangelical student body at LU.  He believes in evolution but is surrounded by young-creationists.  And perhaps most severe, his tolerance of homosexuality collides with the often homophobic...

Culture shock need not apply only to the contrast between traditions, values and religions in different countries. This morning I experienced the vast dichotomy between two completely different cultures.  But I didn't even have to get in a plane to do so.  I simply turned on the car.  The song was called Beloved .  The melody was sung by a smooth tenor over open guitar chords, and not much else.  Often truth dresses itself in simplicity.  Derek Webb has written a beautiful song from Christ to His Church: Beloved listen to me Don’t believe all that you see And don’t you ever let anyone tell you That there’s anything that you need But me The words I heard a few minutes later on the radio were equally exclusive: Let's go all the way tonight No regrets, just love We can dance until we die You and I We'll be young forever Talk about two completely different sets of values!  I'm not sure if I've ever heard a better summ...

As I sat down on the subway in Boston last week and looked around, I was amazed by the number of people who had their heads buried in some kind of flat hand-held web-surfing rectangle.  Now, don't get me wrong.  It's not that Croatians (and other Eastern Europeans for that matter) don't use small electronic devices.  The point is that they're not constantly browsing the Internet on their BlackBerry.  They're not looking at pictures on facebook with their Itouch.  They (generally) simply text and are done.  I would guess that most Eastern Europeans would be shocked if they saw what I saw the other day.  I sure was.  At the risk of promoting a rather hypocritical advertisement (isn't the point to get you to use their phone more than someone elses?) this commercial exaggerates, but is dead on:

There are differences between the way people use money in America and the way they use it in Croatia.  Certainly, some of the comments below may apply to other places; ie. America may corrolate with western Europe, Croatia with Bosnia, who knows?  But since I'm an American living in Croatia visiting America, I'll stick to what I've observed first hand.  1. Change.  I drove up to my local Dunkin' Donuts the other day, ordered a medium french vanilla coffee with cream and sugar and was told that I would owe the lady at the window $2.02.  I panicked.  In America, you pay what they tell you to pay.  In Croatia, they'd be fine with $2.00.  $1.50 would probably do too if you were going to the local bakery and you told them you'd pay them back next time.  But here, if you can't find 2 pennies among all the junk in your pocket, you'll have to pay $3 and receive a whole heapload of change.  At least next time you'll have it.  2. Tips....

It was the most mellow sound I had heard in years.  A slow ballad backed a smooth trumpet melody and accompanied the delightful five minute interval between my descent into the Boston T-station and my entrance onto the red-line train. My hearing wasn't the only sense stimulated by an everyday event everyone else was accustomed to.  The diversity of the soon-to-be passengers both entertained and confused my vision.  "Where am I?", I had to ask, despite the fact that I knew I was in melting-pot America and more specifically Quincy Massachusetts - only 5 subway stops from the heart of Boston. Quincy is classic Boston in more ways than one.  Named after John Quincy Adams, it's a city, but a suburb, urban, but historic, diverse but united by its appeal.  The same could be said for Salem - our residence during my final year of college and the most popular place to celebrate Halloween in America. But the point isn't Quincy, Salem or even Boston.  I...

We're headed to the US of A in just a few days.  Maybe it's the fall weather leaving me with some nostalgia.  Maybe it's the fact that I feel more at home here everyday.  No matter what, there's a lot I'll miss about Orahovica Croatia.  Here are the top 5: 5. The bakery.  Fresh baked rolls for 50 cents.  Bakers who smile pleasantly when I make a mistake in Croatian because they've been part of the learning process with me.  Burek s mesom.  You will be missed.  4. The scenery.  I know, I know.   I'm headed back to New England and the fall foliage will be fantastic.  But the horses, the river and the beauty of the foothills of Orahovica are tough to leave behind.  3. Baseball.  "Are you kidding me?" you may ask.  "The World Series starts the day you get to the States and you're complaining about leaving baseball behind?"  Last Sunday we played our best game yet.  These teens and kids have come ...

You've heard me complain about the roads , driving and parking in Croatia.  You've endured the sob-stories about how many obstacles there are and how many accidents I've been a part of. But friends, let me tell you about the silver lining.  The light at the end of the tunnel if you will.  Because, while I have lost my love for driving since I moved here, there's a well deserved prize waiting for me when I arrive at my destination in any Croatian city. For this demonstration we will use Osijek - the city we frequent the most when we venture out of Orahovica.  It's the first place I came across our latest edition of European Ingenuity. Let me introduce to you the idea of paying by cell-phone.  Maybe you'd call it Mobile Magic if you live in England.  Whatever the case, when in Croatia you'd be terribly behind if you chose to pay for parking the old fashion way.  Dropping coins in the slot?  Phhh!  That's so yesterday.   Let me sho...

A compromise has been reached.

One of the reasons we love Croatia as much as we do is because of the natural beauty.  And it just so happens that Orahovica - the town we live in - offers as many examples of that beauty as any place in Croatia.  Today, as I prepared the morning must-haves - coffee for myself  and a bottle for Ian - I looked out the window to see 5 horses practically in our backyard.   Every fall, the owner of a nearby corral lets his horses graze on the land right behind ours.  We're fortunate to have them drop by every so often.  This was the scene this morning:  They seemed to enjoy our company almost as much as we enjoyed theirs so Enoh and I stood watching them for about 10 minutes.  Both of us must have gotten caught up in the situation because as soon as one of the horses snorted we both jumped and laughed.  What is it about God's creation that causes us to lose ourselves?  I was remi...

If you're a regular here on the Culture Shock weblog, consider yourself privileged.  No, I don't say that because this is a spectacular blog or anything.  I say it because that means that you are part of the 4 billion people in the world who use English - or "Globish" as Newsweek calls it.  In other words, not only can you read and understand this blog, you are able to speak with, listen to, or understand 67% of the rest of the world when they use English. While I studied teaching ESL four years ago, we were told that we might someday find ourselves in a situation where 2 people from 2 different parts of the world who speak 2 different languages are communicating in a common second language - English.  They used the example of two businessmen - one Japanese and one Dutch meeting in Cairo, and speaking a language which is native neither to the people nor the land.  "Pretty cool", I thought, "I wonder if I will ever s...

One of the reasons I update this blog is to inform those who come after me. Some of the things I've experienced in Croatia have taken me completely by surprise. For example, I had no idea it was so beautiful here . Have I mentioned the hospitality ? And who would have thought you might have to pay to use the facilities? Now it's time to add parking lots to the list of things that have taken me off guard. I've been at fault for 2 car accidents in my 12 years of driving. Both happened in Croatia. Both occurred while driving slower than 3 MPH. And both car accidents were in a parking lot. Now, I realize I  am the one at fault. Not Croatia. I understand that. And I've taken full responsibility. But if you are an American driver who learned how to park at Wal-Mart, just know that things are different here. Parking often involves sidewalks - two tires on, two tires off. Parking is often very hard to find. The lines are extremely narrow. Your car will get...

Several people have asked me recently how the Wilsons are doing.  We had the great pleasure of having them visit us in Croatia a few weeks ago.  Can you imagine taking two young daughters on a plane to Europe for a two week vacation?  They did it.  And they were a huge encouragement to us while they were here. Erin posted this  on TheWilsonHeart.com today.  I encourage you to read it.  The post/prayer crossbridge family wrote on their behalf is incredibly moving.

Funny how one word can set the theme for the summer.  When I think back on what just happened, this one event, one song, one simple word best summarizes our summer 2010.  And the word's not even in English.  Let me explain. Camps are the highlight of the year for my wife.  This year was a big one because camps returned to the town they originated in and the town we live and serve in.  That meant that throughout July we would live and breathe camp.  Since my wife and I  are egalitarians through and through, we decided to divide things up nice and evenly - she would work 3 weeks of camp, I would work 1 week and stay with the boys during the other 3 weeks. It was during that one week of camp that I learned a new Croatian word - riješiti - to solve, resolve or deal with.  The head of camps used the word constantly - but only in the future tense.  One person would ask "so what are we going to do now that our main worship leader is sick?" To wh...

Not that cucumbers with black pepper sounds all that appetizing in the first place, but the sauce this Slovakian restaurant serves it with makes it even less appealing.

When I arrived, I knew I could go back.  When the gate closed, it was so they could take a nice picture. When it rained, I opened my umbrella. When I saw opportunity, I could afford to take it.  When I looked out, I saw sightseers.  When the wind blew, I zipped up.  When I had experienced enough, I left. 

"Welcome to the Balkans!", my passenger announced as we sped up and reviewed the scene that had just happened in front of us.  It was raining hard - "like there were 3 guys standing on top of our car pouring buckets of water on the windshield" as my friend put it. The car in front of us was going slower than the oil spill recovery efforts.  And behind us was a driver who was in a Hurry.  Speedy Gonzalez found a way around our car despite the oncoming traffic - who had to slow down to accomodate his impatience.  But he was forced to squeeze between my car and the car in front of us.  As soon as the oncoming traffic had passed, Mr. Fast tried to pass Mr. Slow but Mr. Slow crept over to the other lane (whenever possible) to keep Mr. Fast in line.  Both my passenger and I were keeping an eye on the situation despite our conversation.  I did my best to keep a distance, but Mr. Slow was even more intent on driving slowly (and on the line...

Missions is not the ultimate goal of the church.  Worship is.  Missions exists because worship doesn't.  Worship is ultimate, not missions, because God is ultimate, not man.  When this age is over, and the countless millions of the redeemed fall on their faces before the throne of God, missions will be no more.  It is a temporary necessity.  But worship abides forever.  Worship therefore, is the fuel and goal in missions.  It's the goal of missions because in missions we simply aim to bring the nations into the white-hot enjoyment of God's glory.  The goal of missions is the gladness of the peoples in the greatness of God.  'The Lord reigns; let the earth rejoice; let the many coastlands be glad! (Psalm 97:1).  Let the peoples praise thee, O God; let all the peoples praise thee!  Let the nations be glad and sing for joy! (Psalm 67:3-4). But worship is also the fuel of missions.  Passion for God in worship precedes the offe...

My parents are good parents.  The older I've become, the more I've realized that fact.  Having children made me realize that fact.  Observing other parents made me realize that fact.  But rather than listing all the things my parents have done right, I want to zero in on the thing they have done right. That thing, though certainly not a secret, is often a mystery for parents - even Christian parents.  Miroslav Volf, in an article called Will My Son Be a Christian?  wondered aloud: I'd almost rather [my son] be no Christian than an indifferent Christian, or, even worse, a zealous Christian manipulating faith to promote his own selfish ends.  But I want him to embrace Christianity as a faith by which to live and for which to die.  But how do I pass on that kind of faith? After describing the fear he had in letting his faith "dribble away" as he tried his best to pass it on, and after pondering several solutions, Dr. Volf recalls: Then...

I've written about this before, and I'm sure I will again, but one of the things most difficult to get used to in Croatia is bureaucracy.  Apparently, the situation was similar in Russia when Leo Tolstoy wrote Anna Kerenina .  His (autobiographical?) character Levin describes it perfectly: ...All this bustling, going about from place to place, talking to very kind, good people, who well understood the unpleasantness of the petitioner's position but were unable to help him - all this tension, while producing no results, gave Levin a painful feeling similar to that vexing impotence one experiences in dreams when one tries to use physical force.  He felt it often, speaking with his good-natured attorney.  This attorney did everything possible, it seemed, and strained all his mental powers to get Levin out of the quandry. 'Try this', he said more than once, 'go to this place and that place,'and the attorney would make a whole plan for getting round the fatal ...

The spiritual life is first of all a life. It is not merely something to be known and studied, it is to be lived. Like all life, it grows sick and dies when it is uprooted from its proper element...We live as spiritual [people] when we live as [people] seeking God.  If we are to become spiritual, we must remain [human].  And if there were not evidence of this everywhere in theology, the Mystery of the Incarnation itself would be ample proof of it...Jesus lived the ordinary life of the men of His time, in order to sanctify the ordinary lives of men of all time.  If we want to be spiritual, then, let us first of all live our lives.  Let us not fear the responsibilities and the inevitable distractions of the work appointed for us by the will of God.  Let us embrace reality and thus find ourselves immersed in the life-giving will and wisdom of God which surrounds us everywhere.  - Thomas Merton from Thoughts in Solitude

Tom Foley is the CEO of CEO .  His job is to mobilize missionaries.  Petra and I are part of Christian Educators Outreach and we've found Tom to be a huge encouragement.  Recently he shared some thoughts about Sabbath on his blog Kingdom Travelin '.  It's worth a few minutes of your time. On a trip to DC a few weeks ago, I heard a radio program while driving among the NoVa suburbs where our younger daughter works about sleep. The levels of sleep are several, from the light sleep where we are totally aware of our surroundings to deep sleep where we are virtually paralyzed in stillness. It is in this deep sleep that the body heals and has physical restoration. It is in dreams, the expert stated, that our mind goes through a daily ‘de-fraging’ (excuse the computer lingo). It is, therefore, in rest that we are renewed. Hence, Sabbath. I’ve read a little bit over the last years about Sabbath. The philosophy I’ve developed about Sabbath comes from that. Once a week...

This week is Quote Week.  I've noticed, as perhaps you have, that good writers usually quote other good writers.  In fact, I think you'd be hard pressed to read something that hasn't been influenced by someone else's thinking.  Quote Week is a tribute to authors, thinkers, friends, and family members who have influenced my thinking through their writing.  Every day I will publish a post that contains a quote - some short, some long - that has rubbed off on me in some shape or form.  It also will have something to do (though not explicitly) with culture shock.  For as I mentioned in the introduction , culture shock is not limited to cultural differences between countries. Let Quote Week begin.

"Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.  Seriously folks, I am more entertained by the shutters blowing in the wind than a 2010 World Cup soccer match.  In fact, the creaks and groans that come from my back door offer a greater variety of sound than those vuvuzela horns .  Two days into the tournament I am positive that my initial ho-hum reaction to this competition was merited." I wrote the above a week and a half ago.  At the time, I had nothing else to write so I didn't publish it.  Then I sat down and watched Chile move the ball against Argentina in a much more exciting way that a European team ever would.  Then Serbia tied heavyweight Germany in their match.  Then I complained when the American goal didn't count as the decider against Slovenia ( the most watched soccer game in ESPN history ).  Then I read up on the tournament.  Suddenly I'm into this thing.  Let me give you a brief history of my soccer knowledge: ...

"It's only worth what someone's willing to pay for it." That was the wisdom my father offered me back when I was an avid baseball card collector.  Background:  My friend and I would wait breathlessly for the mail towards the beginning of every month when the baseball card price guide was due to arrive.  In it, we would find out if our latest acquistions had been worth the investment we had put into them - whether by trade, purchase or luck of finding the card in a pack.  And it's not even that we wanted to sell the cards.  We just wanted to find out whether we had struck gold and would be able to further build up our collections.  But the quote stayed with me.  And it's been useful in understanding a story recorded in the gospel of John: Background: Jesus is the guest of honor at Lazarus' house.  The dinner is going well;  Martha's preparing and serving, Lazarus is still taking strips of linen off as he and Jesus converse, when all of...

Back when I played in the Marine Corps Band at Parris Island, we participated in a lot of parades.    Even since we've moved to Croatia I've played in a few.  But Sunday marked the first time in a long time that I've attended a parade as a spectator.  I'll tell you, it's a lot more fun to stand in the shade with your kids and take pictures than it is to dress up in a stuffy uniform and march a couple miles.  Orahovačko Prolječe is the annual celebration of our town.  All the grade-school students march in the parade, making it a traditional event most everyone attends because they were in the parade when they were a kid.  Even some traditional folk groups from other parts of Croatia participate.  The last couple years, it started raining just as the parade started.  But this year we had clear skies.  Here are some pictures from the 42nd Orahovačko Prolječe parade: