The Biggest Obstacle to Prayer?

Sometimes the biggest obstacle to praying is “prayer” itself. 

As a native English speaker in Croatia, I’ve felt the frustration of not being able to articulate what I want to say when I want to say it. I’ve felt this tension during conversations I’ve had with friends in a local book club, for example. Sure, I’ve read the assigned chapters and I have thoughts about various passages in the book. But then, when someone else brings up a point I want to interact with, I’m not able to say it as I want. My communication is compromised because I’m thinking more about how to say it in Croatian than the actual content of my response. The medium of communication becomes an obstacle to communication. 

Photo by Elin Melaas on Unsplash

With prayer to God, we may not be worried about talking to God in a particular language. Yet, because we often pray because we’re “supposed to”, the fact that it’s a duty sometimes takes away from its authenticity. Miller says it well in his book A Praying Life: “Oddly enough, many people struggle to learn how to pray because they are focusing on praying, not on God.”

As we try to deal with this obstacle, we must admit that there’s a legitimate concern here. Back to the example of my book club conversation, Croatian grammar has rules that were created to facilitate effective communication. There is a real need for me to know how to speak Croatian to communicate my thoughts effectively. I need to learn Croatian in order to speak Croatian. 

That’s why Jesus takes his disciples seriously when they ask him to teach them how to pray in the Gospel of Luke (11:1). As Jesus shows, there is a right way to pray. The Church throughout history has done well to emphasize The Lord’s Prayer as a model of how to pray and to do so consistently, both in community and individually.  

But God, rather than prayer itself, ought to be our primary goal. That’s exactly what Jesus points us to in the first two words of the prayer “Our Father”. These two words are profoundly significant as we contemplate how to focus on God, rather than on prayer, when we communicate with our Father. Here are three implications of our sonship when it comes to prayer. 

1. First of all, we as Christians are tremendously privileged. One of the details that is often overlooked in the story of the Prodigal Son is the speech he practices when he is on his journey back home (Luke 15). Twice, Jesus tells us that the Lost Son is prepared to be taken back as a hired servant instead of as a son. His guilt and shame have caused him to diminish his self-worth and be satisfied to take on the same role as a worker in his father’s house. 

We can often identify with this perspective. Sometimes we don’t feel worthy of the Father’s love. And to be truthful about it, we’re not worthy. But the son didn’t cease to be a son! And as children of God, we don’t cease to be his. The tremendous love, generosity, and grace of God give us the privilege of being children of God, rather than employees. Praying “Our Father” along with Jesus reminds us of the privileged status of being children of God.

2. Secondly, we are free. In his letter to the Galatians, Paul repeatedly emphasizes the freedom Christians have. The church in Galatia was free from the law, free from ceremonial practices, and free from the slavery of sin. As Paul says in Galatians 5:1, for freedom we were set free. Now, just like fish are most free when they live in water, our faith offers us the structure within which we can live freely. And our faith informs our prayer. 

We know who God is because of how he is described in Scripture. We read of the Father’s love, goodness, faithfulness, power, and generosity throughout the Bible. Being reminded of these characteristics helps us give voice to our thanksgiving and praise. When we’re constantly focused on the Lord, we don’t need to be reminded to pray. We do so freely out of love and gratitude for the greatness of our God.

3. Finally, we are prompted to experience God continuously. In Galatians, Paul tells us that God has sent the Spirit into the hearts of believers (Galatians 4:6). The Spirit offers us the possibility of experiencing the Father and his love towards us. And the Spirit cries out to the Father, “Abba!”. When we live freely within the framework of faith, we experience the love of the Father. It’s not just head knowledge - something we know exists “out there”, but heart knowledge - something we have personally experienced. 

What does the father do when his lost son returns home? Does he say, ‘You know, you’re right, you’re not worthy to be my son’? No! He runs to him, hugs him and kisses him. He then throws a massive banquet for him. The son may have previously known that he was legally a son (though he was prepared to give that up). But now, he’s experienced the father’s love towards him through a caring hug, a loving kiss, and a generous feast. 

The Return of the Prodigal (Rembrandt)

We can also experience the Father’s love for us. We don’t have to search for it in a far-off land. Rather, by embracing the truths of the Christian faith, this experience is ours in our faithful worship and communication with our Father. 

While good communication is a vital part of any healthy relationship, the ultimate goal of communication is knowing the other person. In our relationship with our Father, He is our goal, prayer an essential vehicle for knowing Him. As we’re reminded of our privileged status and freedom in Christ, may we experience the deep, deep love of the Father as we enjoy time with Him in prayer.